Beneath a New Moon
by Asrielle
Summary: Tonks/Lupin. Follows their relationship from the end of Order of the Phoenix to the end of Half-Blood Prince.
1. Waking Up

Dearest readers: this is a Lupin/Tonks fic, and it covers from the end of _Order of the Phoenix_ to the end of _Half-Blood Prince._ I have tried my best to follow the timeline as put forth in the books and at the Harry Potter Lexicon website, but even with all this help I can't promise everything will be perfectly in sync with the canon Potterverse as we know it.

Tonks, Lupin, and the world they live in is all J.K. Rowling's and/or Warner Brothers' property. I am just having fun with the universe that captivated my imagination.

Please review, and more imporantly, please enjoy.

* * *

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter One: Waking Up_

Remus looked around nervously at the bustling Healers and their patients as he stood in the entrance hall of St. Mungo's. Unlike the muggy morning outside, the hospital was cool, almost chilly, and calming. Remus knew from long experience that the calming effect was a charm renewed daily to ensure no one entering the hospital caused such a disturbance as to wake those patients on the floors above. The charm had little effect on him tonight.

Remus, following the queue, shuffled slowly toward the Welcome Witch, a rather ancient-looking woman with frizzy white hair. Like her younger colleague, she looked exquisitely bored; she was chewing gum, popping bubbles rather loudly every now and then. A wizard sitting in the front row of rickety wooden chairs nearby jumped every time she did so, but she apparently hadn't noticed the connection. Remus realized the man was jumping every time he heard any kind of popping noise at all – the man nearly fell out of his chair when a Healer Apparated into the entrance hall.

"I'm here to see Nymphadora Tonks, please," Remus said when it was his turn.

The witch eyed him beadily. "Ain't you a werewolf?"

Remus fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes, I've seen you here before, when I came in to register."

She nodded curtly. "It ain't right, what they've done to you lot over at the Ministry."

"Thank you," Remus said stiffly. "If you could please tell me -"

"Up in Spell Damage, Lin Amicus ward, Room 423," the witch said. "Next!"

Remus made his way toward the stairs, wincing as he began to climb them. The pain of the last full moon was not quite out of his joints; it stayed with him longer each month. He walked slowly, holding onto the railing. _Oh yes, look at the old man, wonder why he hasn't got a cane_, Remus thought dryly to himself as he passed a group of young witches and wizards on the first floor landing. They appeared to be arguing about which floor they were meant to go to, but stopped talking until he was past them. He ignored their sniggering as he turned to begin climbing the next flight of stairs. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he approached the door to the fourth floor and pushed it open.

The floor was silent but for the distant wailing of a patient at the other end of the corridor. Remus hoped it wasn't Nymphadora. He looked at the number on the door across from the stairwell entrance: 401. As this was the end of the corridor, he could only turn left. A Healer exited a room a few doors down and passed him in a swish of lime green robes, then entered another room, leaving echoing silence behind. The wailing had stopped. A laughing group of witches entered the corridor from the stairs – Remus wondered how he had missed hearing them on his slow ascent – and bustled by him. He watched them walk all the way to the end of the corridor and turn the corner, presumably entering another ward. Their cheerful demeanor so distracted him that he nearly walked past Room 423.

The door was slightly ajar, soft light shining into the hallway. Remus pushed the door open slowly and saw Tonks sitting up in her bed, drinking from a teacup and reading the _Daily Prophet_. She was pale, and her hair had reverted to its natural mousy brown, but she appeared to be perfectly fine otherwise.

"Hello, Dora," he said softy.

Tonks looked up from the newspaper and smiled widely. "Remus!" she said. Her voice was hoarse; hardly above a whisper. "Sorry," she said, sheepishly. "I'm still a little weak. I only woke up about half a day ago."

"I know, it's OK," Remus said, Conjuring a chair and sitting next to her. "I didn't expect you to be awake already. It's only been two days." He decided not to tell her he'd been in to visit her every day since the battle at the Department of Mysteries.

"Healer Zella was quite amazed at how quickly I woke up, too," Tonks said, frowning slightly. "She said I was too healthy for my own good. But I have to stay here for another two weeks regardless – I'm not fully healed yet." She winced and put a hand to her side, and Remus noticed the material of her hospital gown puffed out from her figure, from a point under her armpit to just above her hip. He looked away quickly. "Still, they've given me leave to go see Harry off from King's Cross with you – I told them I'd send Mad-Eye around if they didn't." She smiled again.

"Tonks," Remus said, not returning the smile. "Do you remember what happened at the Department of Mysteries?"

"I fell – Bellatrix got me, I think it was her – anyway, someone got me in the side, and I fell and hit my head. I was in and out of consciousness a couple times on the way here, but the next thing I remember is waking up in this bed with a Healer watching me." Tonks looked at Remus curiously. "Did something happen?" Her bright, inquisitive gaze darkened like sunlight fading behind a storm cloud. "Remus?" she said, and reached out to touch his shoulder, "did someone -" she bit her lower lip.

Remus had somehow hoped she would already know, that Dumbledore had sent word as soon as she'd awakened. He reached up and clasped her hand in both of his. "Sirius. Bellatrix hit him with a spell -"

"Bellatrix!" Tonks yanked her hand out of Remus's grasp and clenched it into a hard fist. Remus was alarmed at how her veins stood out against the back of her hand. "God _damn _that _hag_!" She was trying to yell, but her voice cracked; she covered her face in her hands. Remus watched in horror as tears leaked between her fingers and slid down her wrists.

"I'm so sorry," Remus said quietly. "After she hit him, he fell through the veil."

Tonks clenched her fists again, sobbing outright now. "She c-c-couldn't even leave a b-b-body for us to b-b-bury!" she tried to shriek – it came out only as a harsh sort of rasp. Remus stood up and held her to him, feeling hopelessly inadequate. Tonks embraced him tightly, weeping into his chest, holding on as though her life depended on it. "I'd only just got to know him again," she said in a defeated tone. "I'd only just found out he was innocent!"

Remus ran his hand over her back in what he hoped were soothing circles, feeling the pain of loss all over again. He thought in the past two days that he'd managed to lock it away, that if he had to be the one to tell Tonks he would be able to do it without feeling like there was a great pit in his stomach - but here it was again. Seeing Dora so distraught increased his anger at Bellatrix, at Voldemort - even at Harry for believing what had been put into his mind – tenfold. "I'm so sorry," he said again, and kissed the top of her head, letting his chin rest there. Remus stood that way for a long time, listening to Tonks weep, wishing he could help her, knowing there was nothing he could do. Gradually, her sobbing subsided; her embrace loosened and her breathing slowed. She looked up at him, her cheeks red, her nose running.

"I've ruined your shirt," she said sheepishly.

Remus shook his head. "It's only a shirt. I can fix it." He let go of her slowly, pulled out his wand, and cleaned up the mess.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking down at her tea. "I didn't mean to go so crazy."

"It's perfectly all right," Remus said. "If you like, I could leave -"

"No, please stay. At least for a few more minutes. To make sure I don't lose my head again." She glanced at him; he smiled weakly and sat down. "I think I need to sleep," she said uncertainly, then nodded as though confirming it to herself. "Please don't go until I'm asleep," she requested, looking at him directly now.

"Of course. I'll stay until you start snoring," he said, earning a watery smile from her. Tonks grabbed a tissue from the box on her bedside table and dabbed at her eyes and nose, then leaned back against the bed again, breathing deeply.

Remus reached out and held her hand until she was fast asleep.


	2. Fading Sunlight

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Two: Fading Sunlight_

Tonks was released from St. Mungo's, as promised, for half a day so she could go along to see Harry off from King's Cross. Remus sat cross-legged on her hospital bed while she prepared in the bathroom. He stared out the window into an unusually sunlit London.

"Do you think pink hair will be too much for them?" Tonks called from the bathroom.

"I believe Mad-Eye hoped we would try to make the most frightening impression on them possible in the middle of a Muggle train station," Remus replied, smiling. It would be good to see Tonks with pink hair again – Healer Zella had insisted she use all her energy to recover rather than on "that changing nonsense."

"I s'pose I should wait 'til we're out the door to do the hair, yeah?" Tonks said, leaving the bathroom. Her hair was its signature bright bubble-gum pink, and she'd donned a loose purple _Weird Sisters_ T-shirt that hid her bandages well. Remus had lent her a pair of his old jeans; they looked oddly good on her despite being heavily patched, and she'd only had to cinch the waist a little. "Well? Muggle enough?" Tonks twirled, then stood looking down at Remus.

"Muggle, certainly, but I don't know that the Dursleys will find you intimidating." Remus tapped his lips with his index finger. "Although, the hair might be enough, if what I've heard about them is correct." Remus stood up. "Onwards? We've only got half an hour to get there."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Only," she said incredulously, "as if we couldn't just Apparate straight over to King's Cross. I want some decent supper first, as we have time, if you don't mind," she said.

"Your hair," Remus pointed out as he led the way into the stairwell.

"Oh, right, no morphing until we leave the premises," Tonks said cheerfully. She paused for a moment, and her hair resumed its natural, shoulder-length mousy brown. "Now I look dead boring once again," she said.

"It's only for a few minutes. Did I tell you Fred and George Weasley are coming along too?" Remus winced as he began descending the stairs, but his joints were no longer bothering him. He counted in his head – he only had a few days before his next transformation, when the cycle of pain would begin all over again. Remus tried to enjoy the pain-free experience of walking down a flight of stairs while he could.

"No, you hadn't mentioned them. They'll really put fear in the hearts of the Dursleys," Tonks said, grinning. She tripped down a step and nearly took Remus with her; luckily, they were near enough to a landing that he only had to take a large stride, skip the last step of that flight, and land safely once he'd caught her in his arms. "Sorry," she said, "been a while since I tried stairs." She let go of him; Remus fought the urge to pull her back into his embrace.

"No worries," Remus replied. "Maybe you should take my arm. Just in case," he said. "My joints are little stiff and I might not be able to catch you next time." Remus tried not to blush at his lie; an image of Sirius bloomed in his mind, a Sirius laughing hysterically as Remus once again tried to woo a woman. Then again, Sirius would also laugh at the word "woo" itself. Remus shook off the thought. Sirius was not here anymore.

_And I'm not trying to _woo_ anyone_, he thought sternly.

"Better not," Tonks said. "I wouldn't want to take you down with me if I go tumbling over the last two flights of stairs." She stopped walking, and turned abruptly to place her hand on his cheek. The touch lasted only a moment, but it sent trails of fire across his skin. He could only stare at her; she said nothing, only smiled slightly, then turned and began to walk again, now leading the way.

_Bugger_, he thought. He fought the urge to touch his face to check that it hadn't actually caught fire, and continued walking.

* * *

They had time for a quick supper before meeting up with the Weasleys and Mad-Eye at King's Cross. Tonks led Remus to a tiny café just around the corner from the station. They ducked into an alley next to the café so Tonks could morph her hair back to bubble-gum pink.

"This place, it's not much, but it's got tea, and proper biscuits," she said over her shoulder as they entered the café.

Remus followed her into the small shop, and hoped he'd brought enough Muggle money for tea. The café was nearly empty except for a blond woman hunched over a laptop, typing hurriedly at a corner table. They sat down at the other side of the shop – Remus had no desire to explain about magic if he or Tonks accidentally made the woman's computer go haywire – and Tonks tucked in to a generous helping of tea and an enormous sandwich. Remus was content to sip his tea while watching Tonks eat; she'd been surprised that he wasn't hungry, but after he explained that he'd been staying at the Burrow, she'd laughed and nodded in perfect understanding.

But now, Tonks was no longer smiling, and she'd slowed considerably in eating supper.

"What is it?" Remus asked, glancing out to the busy street. No one appeared to be interested in them, or to suspect that they were anything more than two friends sharing a perfectly Muggle meal near King's Cross Station. He looked back to Tonks, who was now simply looking at her sandwich.

"I miss him," she said, glancing up at Remus quickly, then back to her meal. "If he was here right now, he'd eat the rest of this," she said, turning the sandwich around in her hands. "And he'd finish my tea without asking."

"He might not want your sandwich; he might have a great pile of biscuits all his own," Remus said, ignoring the pang that was now his instinctual response to the mention of Sirius Black. "I miss him, too."

"He'd want us to frighten Harry's aunt and uncle," Tonks said, putting the sandwich down and grinning weakly. "He'd think it was a right laugh."

"He'd probably insist on being seen driving his motorbike," Remus said fondly, "and wearing some kind of eye-patch or brass knuckles or something."

"Brass knuckles?" Tonks burst out laughing at the image of Sirius as a rogue, motorbike-driving pirate figure, then covered her mouth with her hands as the typing woman looked over at them. "Sorry," she called over. "He's a great joker, this one." The woman smiled vaguely, then resumed typing.

Remus finished his tea in one last long gulp, then looked at Tonks. "About time we headed off," he said, pointing to the clock above the café counter. "The train will arrive in about two minutes." Tonks took one last bite of her sandwich and they hurried out into the approaching sunset.


	3. Ghost Voices

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Three: Ghost Voices_

In the next week, as the full moon drew nearer, Remus avoided going to St. Mungo's to see Tonks, though visiting her was the one thing he most wanted to do. The moon's pull on him was growing stronger every day, and as a result, his own emotions went out of balance. He was fairly good at controlling them, having had years of practice, but when it came to Tonks he didn't trust himself. His reaction to her touch a full week before his transformation had startled him badly, and he didn't want to slip up and start attacking her by accident.

_If by "attacking," you mean "snogging her senseless,"_ a familiar voice said in Remus's mind. It was a voice that popped up most often when Remus thought of holding back on something, or worried about losing control. The ghost of Sirius Black had apparently taken up residence in Remus's conscience, and now instead of a good voice and an devil voice, there was only Sirius, urging Remus to do daft things like kiss Nymphadora Tonks, who was much to young for him. And that was on top of all the other reasons Remus could think of as to why getting closer to her was a bad idea.

Remus Apparated out to the Shrieking Shack early the day of the full moon – mostly to escape the constant worried glances from Mrs. Weasley, though he was grateful for the hamper of chicken and pumpkin juice she had insisted he take along.

"If you're not going to be here for supper, you could at least take some with you," she'd said, in such a matter-of-fact way that Remus was hard-pressed to argue against it.

He was glad, too, that Dumbledore had given him permission to use the shack again. Transformation in the Shrieking Shack was just as painful as transformation anywhere else, but the wolf was so familiar with that environment that Remus only had to fight for a few minutes to push the wolf mind down and let his own consciousness rise above. The wolf ate a staggering amount of Molly's chicken and then howled for its absent pack; lingering odors of the dog and the rat remained there, entombed in the Shrieking Shack's walls.

Close to dawn, the wolf slept.

* * *

An owl was waiting for Remus when he Apparated back to the Burrow early the next morning. He opened the small piece of parchment to find an urgently scrawled note from Tonks:

_Remus,_

_I have the best news possible today – Healer Zella has agreed to dismiss me tomorrow instead of next week! My mum has just been in to see me and she said I should invite everyone over to her and Dad's house for a sort of celebratory to-do – just a dinner, I think – and of course you were the first person I thought of. I know you're only a day off the full moon but do you think you could manage it? I could have Dad brew you up this elixir he invented that helps aches and pains. He wouldn't mind, I already asked him about it._

_Please try, Remus, you haven't come to St. Mungo's since we went to King's Cross, and I want to see you._

_Dora_

Remus carefully tore a tiny piece of parchment from Tonks's note, then Summoned a quill and ink bottle. He wrote simply _Dora, I'd love to – Remus_, tied his reply to the owl's leg, and sent it off. He folded Tonks's note and stored it in his pocket, grateful no one at the Burrow had awakened yet. He was thinking of heading into the living room to catch a few hours' sleep on the sofa (his joints nearly creaked at just the thought of climbing up to the twins' old room, where he'd been sleeping) when Molly came downstairs, Arthur just a step behind her.

"Good morning," Remus said absently, "Sorry I woke you. I was trying to be as quiet as possible."

"Don't think anything of it, Remus, I'm always awake at this hour," Molly said, heading toward the stove. "Breakfast for the number of people in this household doesn't just cook itself, you know, it needs someone around to wave a wand at it. Would you prefer coffee or tea?"

"Tea, thank you, Molly," Remus said, accepting that he would have to stay awake the rest of the day now. He sat down at the kitchen table as the tea kettle and supplies floated over; Arthur sat across from him.

"All right, Remus?" Arthur asked briskly.

"Yes, thank you," Remus said, helping himself to the tea. "It was an easy night, as far as transformations go."

Arthur nodded happily. "Glad Bill could whip up the Wolfsbane Potion for you; he's gotten much better at that sort of work since he returned from Egypt. Do you think someone's been teaching him?"

Remus nodded. "I know someone has – Tonks." As he said her name, a warm feeling that had nothing to do with the tea crept up his neck. He fought against it and won.

"Really? Ted or Nymphadora?" Arthur smiled, clearly interested.

"Nymphadora has, Arthur, though she'll thank you not to say that name in her presence," Molly said. Arthur looked stunned.

"Am I the only one who hasn't got an idea what's been going on around here?" he asked, bewildered.

"Of course not, dear," Molly said absently, sending sausages and eggs floating over to the table. "She agreed to teach Bill so he could brew the potion for Remus. She's a sweet thing, isn't she, not at all like -"

"Good morning, Madame et Monsieur Weasley! Oh, and Remus, bonjour!" Fleur Delacour said as she flounced down the steps. Remus hid his smile behind his tea as he caught Molly's scowl.

"Bon jor, Fleur," Arthur said, smiling. Molly's scowl deepened. "Well, I'd best be off, plenty of work to do," he said as he stood up, taking one last sausage with him. He turned to give Molly a kiss; she swiftly rearranged her features to smile at her husband.

"Have a good day, dear," she said, and watched Arthur through the kitchen window as he went out into the garden and passed the anti-Apparition barrier, then disappeared with a loud _pop_. She took the seat her husband had vacated and helped herself to eggs. "Sit down, Fleur, have some breakfast," she said bracingly.

"Oh, no thank you!" Fleur said, "tea is enough for me – if I keep eating zis food I will swell up!" she laughed. Remus, hiding behind his teacup once again, began to think perhaps the Burrow was getting a bit crowded. He thanked Molly for breakfast – she was scowling once again - and escaped into the garden, taking his quill and ink bottle with him. He grabbed a square of parchment off a table by the door.

He wrote to Tom at the Leaky Cauldron, asked if any rooms were available, and (though he grimaced while writing it) informed Tom that his rent would be only a pittance. He offered to work at the tavern if the keeper of the Leaky Cauldron thought that would be enough to make up for what Remus couldn't pay. He assured Tom that he would not be on the premises during transformations. Remus wished for luck and sent Errol, the Weasleys' rather run-down owl, on its way to London.

He did not allow Sirius's voice in his mind to say anything about how a room at the Leaky Cauldron would be ever so close to the family home of Nymphadora Tonks.


	4. A Change of Purpose

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Four: A Change of Purpose_

Remus wasn't surprised to hear the dinner party in full swing when he Apparated into the Tonks family's back yard. He could hear laughter coming from inside the house, which was aglow with warm candlelight. He wondered briefly what kind of concealment charms the Tonkses used on their home; that sort of spellwork had never been his strong suit. Remus rapped lightly on the door; almost instantly, Tonks opened it.

"There you are, I thought you'd never get here," Tonks said. She grinned widely and ushered him into the kitchen. "Everyone else is in the living room, but the elixir I promised is there." She pointed to a thermos sitting on the kitchen counter, next to an enormous tray of appetizers and a flagon of butterbeer. "Dad brewed it as soon as I got your return note yesterday." She turned back to him and smiled, then put her hands on his shoulders. Remus fought off a shiver as the trail of fire once again spread over his skin from Tonks's touch. His jacket suddenly seemed much too warm for the cool summer night.

Tonks tilted her head at him, concerned. "Are you all right?"

He looked down at her and was about to reply in the affirmative when a voice popped into his head. _Kiss her_, it said, and it was very much his own voice, not that of Sirius. He looked at her mouth. She was biting her lower lip, worried about him. He could tell she was getting ready to turn away – he felt her hands sliding off his shoulders -

He let her go.

"I'm all right," he said. "Just a bit weak." _In more ways than one_, he thought dryly.

She was standing still with her back to him. "I wish you could let go," she said quietly.

He was in the process of taking off his jacket and wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly. "I – sorry, what?" He froze with one sleeve still on. "What did you say?"

She turned around to face him, and was shocked to see tears glistening in her eyes.

"I wish you would just let go and kiss me. It seems to be a big problem for you." She looked down at the floor.

"I – all right, I did want to, but Dora -" but before he could explain all the reasons why they shouldn't kiss, least of all that there was a large group of people in the next room, including Tonks's parents, Tonks had her arms around him. She kissed him soundly, and what he thought had been trails of fire from her touch now seemed like tiny sparks next to this blazing inferno. He meant to pull away, but instead found himself cradling her face, kissing back, and all the reasons not to do so flew out of his head without so much as a goodbye.

Tonks broke away from him, panting slightly. "There, now," she whispered. "Wasn't so bad, was it?"

He didn't let her answer, only kissed her again, gently this time, savoring it. The people in the other room didn't matter; he felt now that Voldemort himself could stroll into the kitchen and start killing people – nothing was going to stop this kiss. But then the kitchen door swung open with a bang, and Tonks and Remus jumped apart as though hit by a Repelling jinx.

"All right, Remus? Tonks?" Fred Weasley said, grinning wickedly. "Just popped in for another round of drinks, if you don't mind. Tonks, they're asking about you out there, they seem to think you Disapparated away from your own party." He winked at Remus, grabbed the flagon of butterbeer sitting on the counter, and was gone in a flash of dragon-skin jacket.

Remus and Tonks stared at each other. He contemplated kissing her again, perhaps taking her out into the back yard and – then where? It wasn't as though he had a house of his own, even a flat, to take her to, not even a conveniently placed broom cupboard. The reasons not to get involved flooded back into his mind and then settled in an anxious knot at the pit of his stomach. Slowly, he finished taking off his jacket and hung it on the hat stand next to the door. He turned to face her again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, then grabbed the thermos and nearly ran into the living room. Laughter burst upon him in waves; Fred and George had just got done telling a joke. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were both there, as were Fleur and Bill. And there, sitting in an armchair, was Andromeda Tonks. Ted was standing behind her. Remus avoided looking at them.

"Ah, Remus!" Ted said heartily. "I see you found my little gift. Just a little mix of the Calming Draught and a simple Healing Potion, guaranteed to put you right. Dora told me you have a little trouble with the old joints after a full moon."

"I – yes," Remus said, trying hard not to look at Tonks's father. "Yes. Thank you." He sought refuge on the sofa between Fred and Bill. Fred gave him a friendly nudge, but Remus ignored it. He wondered how long it would take before everyone knew what had just happened in the kitchen.

_Oh for Merlin's sake, be a man, _Sirius said in his mind.

Remus took a deep breath and looked up at Ted, who was now giving him the concerned look Tonks had given him in the kitchen. "I'm all right," he said again. "Just a bit weak." He opened the thermos, painfully aware of everyone watching, and took a sip of the elixir. Calm stole over him almost immediately, and though the lingering pain in his joints didn't go away altogether, it faded considerably. He leaned back against the sofa and smiled. "Thank you, Ted," he said again, this time truly meaning it. What happened in the kitchen was just a slip-up. He could gloss it over, blame it on the moon. He had almost convinced himself that he would be able to put the desire to kiss Tonks again out of his head when she walked into the room and he gave up on that thought completely. Her eyes twinkled as she glanced at him, but beyond that she showed no sign that she'd been tearful or kissing anyone in her parents' kitchen moments earlier. Remus took a rather larger gulp of the elixir.

"Dinner's almost ready," Tonks said cheerfully, then sat down on the floor near her parents. "Anyone want a game of Exploding Snap while we wait?"

Fred and Bill were off the sofa and sitting down next to Tonks immediately; to the contrary, Andromeda moved away from the game, toward Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Mr. Weasley had noticed an old-fashioned Muggle radio in the corner and began to drill Andromeda about its functions; she waved Ted over to explain the dials and knobs. Fleur continued to sit in an armchair across from Remus, looking rather bored, though not haughty. Remus drank more potion and felt the remaining awkwardness leave him. He was on the point of getting up to join the two couples at the radio when Albus Dumbledore walked into the room.

"I hope I am not crashing the party," he said quietly, as all movement in the room stopped. A card exploded in George's face, but he made no move to clean up. Mrs. Weasley said "Oh!" very quietly, then got a stronger grip on her glass of butterbeer, which had nearly slipped from her fingers. Tonks stared at Dumbledore with her mouth open; Fred raised his eyebrows so high they almost disappeared into his hair. Fleur sat up and leaned forward, suddenly interested in the goings-on. Ted and Andromeda walked forward immediately, holding out their hands for Dumbledore to shake.

"And to what do we owe this pleasure, headmaster?" Andromeda said, sweeping her long mousy brown hair off her shoulders.

"I am afraid, Mr. and Mrs. Tonks, that I have not come merely to celebrate Nymphadora's release from St. Mungo's, though I can assure you that I am delighted to see her up and about." Dumbledore smiled wearily, then continued on. "No, no, I am here, in fact, to see Remus."

Andromeda and Ted turned slowly to look at him. The others followed suit, and for the second time that night, Remus found himself the center of unwanted attention. He took another long gulp of the elixir.


	5. Willing and Unwilling

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Five: Willing and Unwilling_

Remus twisted the cap back onto the thermos and placed it carefully at his feet. He could feel his face growing warm from the ten pairs of eyes watching him; he did not look around, but focused only on Dumbledore as he stood slowly and walked over to the headmaster.

"What is it, professor?" Remus asked quietly. He fought against the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, and nearly won; but no elixir in the world could quell his suspicion about why Dumbledore wanted to speak with him.

Rather than answer Remus, Dumbledore smiled around at all the others again. "It will only be a moment," he said, and ushered Remus into the kitchen. Dumbledore did not stop in the kitchen, choosing instead to continue out into the back yard. Remus followed him as best he could; his legs felt wooden.

Dumbledore cast a charm around them, though the area was deserted, and turned to face Remus.

"You know, I think, what I am about to ask of you," Dumbledore said softly. He looked old and tired; for the first time in his life Remus wondered exactly how old Dumbledore was.

"Yes. At – at least, I _think _I do," Remus said. He was surprised to see that he was wringing his hands. He shoved them into his pockets and ignored his growing nausea. "But I would like to hear you ask it, just the same, professor," he added.

"As you know very well, Remus, having heard of Hagrid's mission with the giants last year, Voldemort is attempting to collect all manner of Dark creatures to put to use against those who would see him brought down." Dumbledore rubbed the bridge of his nose, shifting his glasses askance. He straightened them before he continued. "Voldemort has, therefore, put into use Fenrir Greyback as a means of recruiting werewolves."

Remus swallowed hard, but did not speak.

"Being who he is, Greyback has a pack of his own with which he has been running. This pack includes children as well as adults." Dumbledore turned his piercing gaze on Remus at these words, and without meaning to, Remus shuddered. "Children whom Voldemort will no doubt put to use as mercilessly as he uses any adult."

"What would you have me do, professor?" Remus asked hoarsely, though he already knew.

"I need you, Remus, if you are willing, to infiltrate the pack. Gently suggest, perhaps, another way of thinking to these werewolves. I need you to find werewolves who are not already involved with Greyback, if possible, and talk to them. Tell them what's coming. Teach them all that werewolves are, first and foremost, humans, as you yourself have proven time and time again." Dumbledore smiled down at Remus.

Remus thought of what he had to lose and found the list lacking. There was no logical reason to refuse the mission. He nodded at Dumbledore. "I'll do it."

"Thank you, Remus. I've been told the pack is currently in the Forest of Dean; I trust you can Apparate there?"

Again, Remus nodded, not sure he could speak anymore.

"I would like to you infiltrate the pack as soon as possible; however, I am sure that you have matters to attend to before leaving. When you are ready to go, send word; I will tell you then how you are to communicate with myself – and myself only, Remus – while you are away." Dumbledore glanced over Remus's shoulder and smiled at something in the house. "First and foremost, however, I think you had better tell Nymphadora Tonks that you are about to disappear for a while."

Remus, startled, looked over his shoulder: Tonks stood at the kitchen window, silhouetted by the lights inside. She had been watching them.

Dumbledore gave Tonks a wave and simultaneously dispersed the charm he'd cast about himself and Remus.

"Thank you, again, Remus, for your bravery," he said quietly. "I shall speak to you again soon." Dumbledore took a few steps away, then turned on his heel and Disapparated. Remus faced away from the house for a few moments, but heard running footsteps and felt a small, warm pair of hands slide onto this shoulders.

"Remus?" Tonks asked softly. "What was that about?"

Remus slowly turned to face her; before he could help himself, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, reveling in her presence, from the feel of her hair to the scent of the soap she used. Tonks hesitated, then wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. As they stood together, Remus stared at Tonks's parents' house. He imagined Tonks sitting at the kitchen table, scrawling the note she'd written to him, inviting him to the dinner party; he saw her, as though it were happening right before him, come joyfully home from St. Mungo's, saw her parents embrace her. Then he saw her standing with him, old, shabby, a Dark creature, and was revolted by the image despite how much he wanted it.

He let go of her and backed away a step.

"Remus?" Tonks tilted her head and bit her lip, and Remus wanted to kiss her again, badly. He didn't.

"Dumbledore has asked me to go away for a while," Remus said. His voice was harsh, cruel; he cleared his throat and it softened. "He would like me to run with the werewolves, to recruit some of them for our side."

Tonks stared at him, stunned. "But you can't," she said. "It's too dangerous, Remus, tell him you can't -"

"I have to do my part," Remus said, looking down at Tonks's bright blue shoes.

Tonks's eyes filled with tears but she nodded, and Remus was grateful for her understanding, no matter how much it hurt.

"When...when will you go?" she asked him; her voice wavered.

"Very soon," he replied.

"And how long will you be away?" she whispered.

He hesitated. He could tell her it would only be for a little while, and that he wouldn't be in any danger; both lies, both of which she would surely see through. "I don't know," he muttered. "I think it best if I just leave now. Please tell your parents I'm very sorry to miss supper."

Tonks nodded again, causing tears to spill down her cheeks. She looked up at him, but he was still looking at her shoes. "Remus," she whispered. "Please look at me."

He did, and she pulled him to her, this time providing him with comfort, her hands clutching his back as if she could prevent him from leaving. He kissed her forehead, then her lips, softly, tasting her tears.

"I can't see you or talk to you while I'm gone, you or anyone," he said when they broke apart. Tonks nodded again, more tears spilling silently down her cheeks.

Remus cradled her face in his hands. They stared at each other for one long moment, then, before he lost his nerve, Remus backed away and Disapparated to the Shrieking Shack. He slid down the wall just inside the front door and covered his face in his shaking hands. When he stood up again a long time later, his hands, though steady, were wet with tears.


	6. Leaving

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Six: Leaving_

Tonks walked back toward the house. She dried her eyes on her robes as best she could before she returned to the kitchen (the table was now filled with food for supper), then made a detour to the bathroom on her way back to the party. She washed her face and stared at her reflection, then gasped. She was starting to lose her morph: her hair, while still short and spiky, was only bubble-gum pink at the tips. The rest was the mousy brown she'd inherited from Andromeda. Tonks concentrated and the pink returned, though she now felt queasy.

"Damn," she muttered. She rubbed her temples, checked to see that her hair was still pink, and walked back into the living room. The others all looked up at her, anxious; her father walked over to stand by her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Dora? Is everything okay?" he asked.

Tonks cleared her throat. "Yes, fine. Remus -" she took a deep breath as the tears threatened to return. "Remus had to go. Mum, he said he's sorry he couldn't stay for supper."

Andromeda nodded graciously. "That's all right. Supper's ready, though, if everyone would like to gather around the table?"

Somehow Tonks made it through the meal, despite her nausea; she had to concentrate on keeping the morph, really _concentrate_ on it. It had never been this hard before. She smiled and made conversation with the others, though her mouth felt made of cotton. After what seemed like a year of sitting at the table, the meal ended and tea was served. Bill and Fleur were the first to leave, Fred and George on their heels. Mrs. Weasley stayed to help Tonks and Andromeda clean up while Mr. Weasley and Ted enjoyed a nightcap in the living room. At last, it was only Tonks and her parents.

She sat down heavily at the table and put a hand over her eyes.

"Are you all right, Dora?" Andromeda asked. "Your hair is turning brown."

"The jig is up," Tonks said, feeling she might vomit. She felt a comforting hand on her back and heard her mother sit in the chair next to her. "Dumbledore asked Remus to run with the werewolves."

"It couldn't wait?" Andromeda hissed, then shook her head. "No, of course not; this is a war we're going into, isn't it? No time for waiting anymore."

"He's asked Remus to run with Fenrir Greyback's pack."

Andromeda's hand stiffened on her daughter's back. "Remus told you this?"

"No...no, only that he was going underground. But who else could it be, Mum? It's not like there are several highly vicious werewolves out there following You-Know-Who."

"I suppose not," Andromeda said. Tonks felt a heavy thud in front of her; she looked up to see a large, steaming cup of tea.

"Thanks, Mum," Tonks said. "I – do you mind if I just take this up to my room?"

Andromeda smiled gently. "Of course not. You might still live here, but you _are_ an adult." Tonks stood up and turned to go, floating the tea ahead of her; she didn't trust herself to carry it upstairs. Her foot was on the bottom step when her mother called to her again. "Tonks? I – I know you cared very much for Remus. I'm sorry."

Tonks angrily shook her hair out of her eyes, which were wet again. "Well, it's like you said. This is a war. No time for sitting around." Tonks laughed bitterly and went upstairs to her dark, empty bedroom.

* * *

Remus allowed himself five hours of sleep at the Burrow and woke up just before sunrise. He had hoped to sneak away quietly, so that Mrs. Weasley wouldn't see he had no luggage, but she was waiting for him in the kitchen.

"Now, Molly," he said hoarsely, "I _know_ you don't usually wake up quite this early."

Molly eyed him beadily. "You've got a letter. From Tonks."

Remus sighed and held out his hand, but Molly didn't hand him the letter.

"Are you aware that she loves you?" Molly said. Remus wondered if she hadn't confused him with one of her sons, because of the tone she was using. "Remus?"

_I guess not,_ he thought sadly.

"Yes, Molly. I know."

"And yet you're running off to leave her to worry while you go undercover?"

"What choice do I have? Dumbledore asked me, and I said I would. Dora – Tonks – understands. She knows what I'm doing."

Molly opened her mouth as if to say something, but only handed him the letter. She coldly wished him luck and went back upstairs.

Remus opened the letter.

_Remus,_

_I hope this catches you before you head off – I know you said a week but I have a feeling you'll be leaving as soon as you possibly can, probably through some unreasonable notion that you have to act immediately. You Gryffindors, madmen all._

_I'm not going to say what I wanted to when I started writing this – I'm sure you know how I feel about you. I would like to think you feel the same, but a few kisses do not a love story make._

_That is why I will simply ask you to be careful, oh, please, _please_ be careful. I want you to return to me safely, so that I can find out whether you kiss as well when there aren't other people a room away. If you only work well under pressure, then I'm afraid I'll have to resort to snogging you in the middle of King's Cross._

_I don't expect a reply to this letter – the sooner you break off contact with the rest of us, the sooner you will return. I just wanted to tell you – well, you know. _

_I am only and always yours,_

_Dora_

Remus reread the letter until the sun was peeking over the horizon. He heard movement upstairs, and knew that Molly was probably returning to the kitchen to start breakfast. He drew his wand and Vanished the letter. Leaving his wand in a bureau drawer, he left the house, walked past the barrier, and Apparated into the Forest of Dean.


	7. Tonks's Plan

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Seven: Tonks's Plan_

Tonks woke up early the next morning, but stayed in bed until she heard both her parents leave for work. From what she could see through the limited view her bedroom window offered, it wasn't going to be a pleasant day. Rain was pouring on the roof, making loud pattering sounds, and when Tonks stood up and went over to the window, she could see that a thick mist had wrapped itself around the house, obliterating the place in the back yard where she and Remus had stood the night before. She grabbed the top blanket off her bed, wrapped it around herself, and headed downstairs, ignoring the mirror in the corridor on her way to the kitchen.

"Looking a bit peaky," it wheezed as she passed it.

"You have no idea," she muttered. There was no point looking into the mirror; she could tell without having to that her hair was still shoulder length and mousy brown. Tonks entered the kitchen and filled the kettle with water for tea; though she usually made tea using magic, there was a simple comfort in preparing the drink for herself without the use of her wand. When it was ready, she sipped it while standing at the kitchen window, looking out into the back yard. "Right there," she told herself, "is where Remus left me."

Against her will, her eyes filled with tears. She'd spent the greater part of the night crying and feeling sorry for herself, and as she began to cry once again, she felt more exhausted than sad. She dropped the blanket from around her shoulders and sat down at the kitchen table as her vision grew blurry. Without warning, her exhaustion turned to anger, and her tears grew hot as rage boiled within her. "I'm so _bloody_ sick of crying!" she shrieked; it came out only as a harsh rasp. Tears spilled into the tea. She carelessly threw her teacup behind her at the sink, but it missed, falling onto the blanket. Tonks laid her head in her arms and sobbed, now at Remus for leaving her, now at Dumbledore for forcing Remus (though she knew that wasn't true) to go underground. She angrily wished aloud to the kitchen that he had never kissed her; then called herself any number of horrible names for practically begging him to do it. The names got more and more ridiculous; as she called herself a pickled porpoise, having run out of any other ideas, she found herself laughing.

"Oh, Tonks, you've gone round the bend," she said, wiping her eyes. She focused on breathing calmly for a few minutes. When she stood up to clean the spilled tea, Tonks had a plan.

Auror Headquarters at the Ministry of Magic was in complete disarray; while Tonks had been at St. Mungo's, Cornelius Fudge had been sacked as Minister of Magic. This was no surprise to her when Kingsley Shacklebolt told her as she passed him on the way to her cubicle; she'd read it in the _Daily Prophet_. When she sat down at her cubicle, which had accumulated a rather large pile of paperwork considering she hadn't been doing any real work to warrant it, an Auror in the cubicle next to hers stood up and looked at her.

"Tonks," she said. The woman wore an eye-patch and while Tonks knew her to say hello to, she couldn't currently recall her name.

"Yes?" Tonks looked up at the woman.

"You're not due to return until next week, you know," the woman said, smiling. "But as you're here, you might want to go see the new Head of the division."

"There's a new Head?"

"Just installed him today. Rufus Scrimgeour was moved up to Minister; lucky for him, but he's left the entire department in chaos. Only just now got around to installing Robards. Er, that's the new Head – Gawain Robards."

Tonks nodded and stood up. She remembered seeing Robards around, though she had been so busy with additional work for the Order of the Phoenix last year that she hadn't really gotten to know any of her co-workers aside from Kingsley.

"Thank you, er..." Tonks began. Rather than provide her name, the witch with the eye-patch gave an airy wave of her hand and sat down again. Tonks wondered if this was perhaps the next Mad-Eye Moody in the making; he'd once told Tonks never to let people know her real name unless it was unavoidable. She hadn't listened, but it appeared this witch had.

She walked toward the far end of headquarters, toward a glass-walled office with no door that housed the Head of the Division. She rapped on the door frame.

Robards looked up at her and raised his eyebrows. "Tonks. You're not meant to be -"

"Back until next week, yeah, I know. I'm feeling a bit spry, so I came back early." Tonks tried to smile, but her face felt numb.

"Did you always have brown hair?" He asked, tilting his head.

Tonks closed her eyes for a moment and asked for patience. "No. I'm a metamorphmagus. I can't morph today."

Robards looked like he was on the verge of asking why, but settled instead for a curt nod. "Straight into the assignments you go, then," he said as he snatched a long piece of parchment that had been about to fall off his desk. "Right, you're to finish your paperwork – should take you a few days – then report to Hogsmeade, where you'll meet up with your partner, Diana Felix. She'll be your superior, she's been around quite a while." He paused to read through a part of the parchment list. "You'll be guarding Hogwarts occasionally and Hogsmeade every 36 hours. There are two other Aurors already stationed there as well who will be covering the same shift with you and Diana. Got all that?"

Tonks nodded and Robards smiled stiffly. "Off you go, then," he said. Tonks turned and was nearly pelted in the face with a large flock of paper airplanes. She ducked and they flew neatly into a box on Robards's desk, unfolding themselves into an organized pile. Robards sighed heavily and picked up his quill. Tonks left him to it and set off for her own cubicle, where she started in on her own paperwork. By the time she finished, it was dark out and her head was pounding. Arthur Weasley had come by about an hour ago to say that Mrs. Weasley had invited her and Kingsley to the Burrow for supper, but Tonks begged off, not sure she was ready to face company beyond the professional realm just yet. Her final act before leaving was to write to Ambrosius Flume and his wife, owners of Honeydukes, the grandson of whom had been in her year at Hogwarts, to ask for a room. She requested they respond to her at work, as she knew she'd be in early the next day to continue the paperwork and wasn't likely to be home when a reply came.

She was surprised when an owl found her as she was walking out of the Ministry. She opened it to find a quick note on stationery emblazoned with the Honeydukes logo:

_Miss Tonks,_

_I'm sorry to say that we don't have a room available for you above Honeydukes just now. However, my wife and I have a small cottage a few miles outside town that you are welcome to rent. It's not much, but as we'll be busy with the students, we are willing to allow you to stay. However, you will have to stay with my grandson, Matthaius, as he lost his job and has had nowhere else to stay (you will certainly have your own bedroom). If this is acceptable, please reply as soon as possible in the affirmative so we can prepare for you. Also, please let us know what day you plan to arrive if you would like to stay there._

_Sincerely,_

_Ambrosius Flume_

Tonks considered the options. She wasn't keen to Apparate back to London after every shift; she was likely to be too tired to concentrate properly on the task. A room would have been ideal but she had no desire to stay in the Hog's Head and the Three Broomsticks was full of concerned relatives who wanted to keep a close watch on the children at the school. The only other place with rooms above it, Zonko's, was now closed. Tonks thought about Matthaius Flume, who had been a fellow Hufflepuff and nice enough, if a bit dull. Realizing there weren't really any other options available, unless she wanted to stay in the caves above town, Tonks hastily scrawled her affirmative reply and the date she would arrive, then sent the owl away to Hogsmeade. When she arrived in the back yard of her parents' house, her head was pounding worse than ever. Tonks made more tea and took it straight to her bedroom without saying hello to Ted or Andromeda, who were settled in the living room.


	8. Greyback's Pack

Hello, Asrielle here. Just a fair warning that there is some violence in the chapter below, so if that makes you queasy, go easy on yourself and skip to after the break.

* * *

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Eight: Greyback's Pack_

Remus didn't have time to do more than turn around after he Apparated into the Forest of Dean before something hard hit him across the face. He suddenly found himself kneeling on the ground.

"My little Remus Lupin," Fenrir Greyback said. He took a great inward breath, then made a gagging noise. "You reek of humans."

Remus felt blood trickle down his face from the edge of his hair. "I despise humans," he spat.

"Do you now? Even that little pink-haired one? The one you came to see in the hospital when she was all ripped up?" Greyback laughed. "Did you smell her blood? Did you want to finish the job the Death Eaters started?"

Several other people laughed as well, and Remus knew he had not so much found Greyback's pack so much as Apparated directly into the middle of it. "She didn't want anything to do with me. I went to the hospital to tell her what I am. She kicked me out of the room."

"Liar!" Greyback growled, and Remus felt the heavy thing hit him in the back of the head. He fell face down into the forest's carpet of pine needles and old, dead leaves. "We saw you at King's Cross with her! Knocking about as though the two of you were perfectly normal. I mean, good Lord, Remus, it's not as if _she's_ entirely natural either, is she? Though I can see the attraction..." Greyback roughly lifted Remus's head up, closing a hand over his throat. "You can have her turn into anyone you want her to, can't you?"

"Not now," Remus gasped. "She won't have me now." The hand let go of Remus's throat as Greyback stirred the pack into another round of laughter. Remus could hear women and children in the group.

"Sit up, my little Remus, and let your new family welcome you properly," Greyback said, kicking Remus's side. Remus sat up with a groan, thinking he would happily return to the pack if he could get his hands on some of Ted Tonks's elixir. He looked around at the pack of werewolves standing around him. They blurred slightly as he struggled to stand up, but then he found himself properly on his feet. Greyback paced in a small circle around him as Remus looked at the members of the pack.

Dumbledore had been right, it _was_ small, and Remus felt a flicker of hope. There were fewer than ten werewolves here, and three of them were children. The youngest looked to be about five, the oldest Remus guessed to be around seventeen. Of the adults, there were two men and three women. All of the pack were dressed in shabby, loose-fitting clothing that had either been dyed brown to blend into the forest or had accumulated so much dirt that it couldn't be scrubbed off.

_Or perhaps their clothes have never been washed_, Remus thought, and felt a pang at how, when he'd been small, his mother had always had warm, dry pajamas for him the night after a transformation. These children had never known that kind of comfort.

"Like what you see?" Greyback said as he stopped in front of Remus. "You lay a hand on one of those women and I'll kill you with my bare hands," he growled. The women laughed; Remus heard one of them say something about "not even if he had a ten foot -" but it was cut off when Greyback snarled loudly and the pack went silent. Greyback turned to face away from Remus, to talk to his pack.

"Our little Remus has never been a proper wolf," Greyback said. "He's always embraced the stench of humans, fancying himself to be one of them." Greyback suddenly turned to face Remus again. "You are not human. You are a Dark creature. You are one of us." Greyback swiftly turned to face the rest of the pack. "Remus has even been a _teacher_. Remus went to _Hogwarts_. Remus fancies himself a right proper Englishman," Greyback said, and the pack erupted in laughter again. Remus noticed one of the children, the smallest boy, did not laugh at the notion of going to Hogwarts until the oldest child jabbed him in the ribs when Greyback turned his way.

"Remus," Greyback was continuing, "likes _school_. I think Remus needs to be taught some lessons. What lessons shall we teach him, hmm?" Greyback put his hands behind his back and walked stiffly over to the children, leaning over them slightly.

"He – he should learn how to hunt," said the middle child, a girl.

"To hunt! Yes, a noble pursuit. And what should he hunt?" Remus could see the side of Greyback's face; he was smiling nastily.

"Humans," the youngest boy said as though it were the natural, the only, answer.

Greyback laughed and turned back to Remus. "You see how well they learn!" He said, gesturing at the whole pack. "They know what they are." Greyback turned back to the children again. "Remus needs to be taught _what he is_," Greyback said. "And we are going to do that by teaching him what he is not."

Before Remus could put up a hand to defend himself, Greyback had hit him across the face again, his long fingernails cutting into Remus's skin. "The first thing Remus is not," Greyback said as he kneed Remus in the stomach, causing him to fall to his knees again. "Is strong. Shall we show Remus how he is not strong?"

The pack answered yes, and suddenly Remus was being kicked and punched from all directions. He was trying to concentrate on Apparition when someone hit him very hard on the back of the neck. Remus fell forward, unconscious.

* * *

Remus woke up to the sound of something snuffling very close to his ear. A pointed object nudged him gently in the shoulder. He kept his eyes closed.

"Hurry up, would you, this fire ain't gonna stay lit forever," a high voice called.

"Come on, little Remus, wake up, it's time for supper," a deeper voice said, accompanied by another nudge.

Remus groaned and opened his eyes. Everything hurt, even his shoes, he thought; then he became aware that he was no longer wearing shoes. He sat up and immediately regretted it; his head was pounding and tender in three distinct places. His face felt crusted over with mud.

As he leaned over to vomit, he recalled everything that had happened. Someone yelped and jumped out of the way.

"Water?" Remus asked, unable to think clearly enough to form a coherent sentence. A mug of lukewarm water was shoved into his hands. "Thank you." He drank; the pounding in his head subsided slightly, giving him a chance to look around.

He was in a small clearing in the forest, and it was night. He could hear a stream nearby. A small fire had been lit at one side of the clearing; something that smelled like mutton was cooking on it. Despite having just been sick, Remus felt his stomach rumble. He looked at the two figures nearest him and discovered he had been placed in care of the children. The oldest boy was holding a stick and the youngest was slowly getting nearer, sniffing around. Remus correctly deduced that the girl, the middle child, was by the fire.

"Come on, you lot," the girl said. The youngest boy got up and ran over to the fire, but the oldest boy looked down at Remus.

"Need help getting up?" he asked, holding out a hand.

"Thank you," Remus said, and allowed the boy to pull him to his feet. He followed the children slowly over to the fire, pain erupting at various odd points with every step he took: the crook of his elbow; the back of his hand; the tendons in his ankles. As Remus sat down in front of the fire, following the children's example, he looked down at his arms. Bruises were blooming here and there on them, some worse than others. One was so dark it was nearly black. "What's in the fire?"

"Mutton," the girl said. "Greyback brought us a sheep. It's nearly ready," she added as she turned it over on its spit. To Remus, the meat looked barely cooked; he was surprised to feel his stomach rumble again as the thought crossed his mind.

The girl pulled the mutton out of the fire and waved it around to cool it off. She bit into it, taking a large bite, then passed it to the youngest boy, who did the same and passed it to the oldest boy, who passed it to Remus. After a slight hesitation, Remus followed suit. They passed the mutton around until it was gone, then split the leg bone and sucked out the marrow. By the time they'd finished, the pounding in Remus's head had faded to a dull ache.

"What are your names?" Remus asked them gently.

"I'm Graves," the oldest boy said. "This is Tyler Fowler -" he pointed to the youngest boy - "and this is Ella."

"And does Ella have a last name?" Remus asked, turning to Graves. "Do you have a first name?"

The boy shrugged. "Can't remember. I was three when I got bit, or so the adults tell me. Ella was nearly seven but she can't remember much, she's stupid that way."

"I am not stupid!" The girl said, throwing her splinter of mutton bone at the boy. "I can read!"

"Fancies herself a human, that one does," Graves said, and Remus felt a chill as he remembered Greyback's mocking words. _You are not human. You are a Dark creature. You are one of us. _Then, before he could stop it, the words from Tonks's parting note fell into his head: _I am only and always yours_. Remus shivered.

"Where are the adults?" he asked.

The children looked at him as though he were missing a few brain cells.

"They don't stay with us," Ella said. "They have their own place. It's close but not close enough that we could smell it out."

"Don't they want you around them?" Remus asked, gaining another confused look from the children.

"No," Graves said, "and the men and women are separated except when we meet once a day. It's to keep us from getting ideas, Greyback said."

"From getting ideas..." Remus echoed, as an idea of his own bubbled into being.


	9. Mother Figures

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Nine: Mother Figures_

Robards agreed to give Tonks a week before she met up with Diana Felix in Hogsmeade. Tonks had told him she needed the time to get a few things in order, but it was a false excuse. Tonks was afraid to leave her parents' house for Hogsmeade until the last possible day; she was afraid that if she left, Remus wouldn't be able to find her if he needed her. Molly Weasley disagreed when Tonks let her fear be known during a late dinner – just herself, Molly and Arthur – at the Burrow a few days after her return to work.

"Of course he'll know where to find you, Tonks," Molly said as she heaped mashed potatoes onto Tonks's plate. "If he asks us, we'll tell him straightaway. It's not as though your living arrangement is top secret...er...is it?"

"No, it's not," Tonks replied, pushing the potatoes around with her spoon. "But if it's urgent -"

"I don't mean to be rude, so please forgive me if it sounds that way," Arthur interrupted gently. "But wouldn't he go to Dumbledore first if he were in grave danger?"

Molly scowled at her husband, but Tonks shook her head. "That's not rude in the slightest. He _would_ go there first. But...if there's something less urgent that he thinks I could help with..." Tonks let the sentence die as she realized how silly it sounded. "I'm being completely ridiculous, aren't I?" She asked sheepishly.

"Only a little," Molly said kindly. "It's natural for people in love, isn't it, Arthur?"

"Yes, dear," Arthur replied absently through a mouthful of lamb chops.

Tonks snorted. "I don't know anything about Remus being _in love_," she said. A few kisses did not mean anything, Tonks remembered, trying to think of that evening objectively.

"I know love, dear, and I see it when Remus looks at you," Molly said stubbornly. "Even if he won't admit it."

Tonks couldn't help but smile. If anyone knew true love, it was Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who'd been together for so many years. Despite how much she wanted to, Tonks refused to let herself dwell on the fact that Molly believed Remus was in love. Such thoughts would do no good now, and Tonks had been getting very good at not allowing herself to cry.

"Aren't you going to eat anything, Tonks?" Arthur asked, looking at her with concern and bringing her back from her reverie. "I've raised enough children with Molly that I know the difference between eating and pushing food around so it _looks_ like eating." He raised his eyebrows.

"I guess I'm not really hungry," Tonks said. "It looks delicious, though; I'm sorry."

"No worries, Tonks," Molly said wearily as she Vanished the food from Tonks's plate. "I'd best get to the washing up before it gets much later."

"And I should go home, as well, and get some sleep," Tonks lied. Sleep was quickly becoming as much of a fantasy to Tonks as the idea that Remus could be in love with her.

"All right," Molly and Arthur said simultaneously. Arthur chuckled, but Molly continued to speak. "If you ever need to chat, don't hesitate to come over, any time," she said. "The invitation is always open."

"Thank you, Molly, Arthur," Tonks said as she stood. She apologized again for not eating, then walked out into the garden and Apparated to her parents' house.

Andromeda was waiting for her at the kitchen table, scowling into a cup of tea, when Tonks walked in.

"Mum? Is everything all right?" Tonks sat down next to Andromeda, worried. "Is Dad -"

"Your father's fine, he's in the living room," Andromeda said quickly. "It's you I want to discuss."

"Me?" Tonks suddenly wished she hadn't sat down as Andromeda looked piercingly at her.

"Yes, you. You haven't said two words to me or your father in the past few days; you don't get out of bed until we've left for work, and you don't come home until we're either settled in the living room or in bed for the night. And your hair is not pink." Andromeda looked sternly at her daughter. "Tell me what's going on."

Tonks bit her lip and looked down at the worn wooden table. She traced over a knot in the wood with her finger. "I'm not upset with either of you," she said evasively.

"Perhaps not, but you're certainly upset with something or someone. I would appreciate knowing why my daughter has chosen to ignore me for the better part of the day." Andromeda poured a cup of tea and set it in front of Tonks, who didn't look at it.

"It's Remus," Tonks admitted after a long silence.

"What did he do?" Andromeda asked sharply.

"It's not...something _he_ did, really. Dumbledore asked him to go underground with the werewolves," Tonks said. "And while he's doing that, he's not to have any interaction with the greater wizarding world." Tonks bit her tongue as tears threatened again. "So I won't know while he's away if he's healthy or hurt or a live or – or -"

"Damn that Dumbledore!" Andromeda said angrily. "I know there's a war on, but forcing Remus to go live with those – those – monsters -"

"Mum!" Tonks said. "They're not monsters. They're people, just like Remus -"

"Not them. I've seen them. Running around as if they're more animal than human. They're nothing like Remus."

But Tonks had gotten distracted from her anger by her mother's statement. "You've seen them?"

Andromeda looked up. "Not since Remus left. This was years ago. I was traveling for work, and part of that required that I go through a forest. I came across them and only got away because I Apparated. They were going to make me into a meal, and they weren't even transformed! I can't imagine how many innocent people have died so they can live out there, shunning us, ignoring their humanity -"

"Mum, stop. Please. I don't...I don't want to know what they're like." Tonks put a firm hand on Andromeda's arm. "Please."

Andromeda covered her daughter's hand with her own. "Of course. I'm sorry, Nymphadora. Is Remus also the reason you've stopped morphing?"

Tonks seized the chance to change the subject. "I think so. I mean, it started after he – after he left." She finally took a gulp of the tea Andromeda had placed in front of her. "I came back inside and it was only pink on the ends, then when I morphed back it made me nauseous."

Andromeda's brow furrowed. "But your hair was pink the night of the party -"

"I didn't want to have to explain to everyone."

"Oh, right, of course. I've done my share of reading on the metamorphmagus, Nymphadora, but I'm not sure what could cause or fix the loss of the ability."

"It's all right, Mum," Tonks said. "Don't worry about it, really. I'll keep trying it."

"I never thought I'd say this, but I do miss the pink," Andromeda admitted, smiling sheepishly.

Tonks grinned. "Thanks, Mum. I miss it too." They hugged and Tonks went up to bed. Although at the Weasleys' she'd lied about getting sleep, that night she slept well, and dreamed that she and Remus had started a catering business together, specializing in mashed potatoes. When he leaned in to kiss her at the business's opening party, however, she woke up.


	10. The First Hunt

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Ten: The First Hunt_

Within just a few days, Remus's clothing took on the dirt brown hue of the clothes of his fellow pack members. He'd given up on finding his shoes completely after his second day, when Greyback entered the children's clearing and hinted rather strongly that Remus's shoes had been thrown into a lake. Remus was glad, for a moment, that he'd worn his shabbiest shoes to Apparate into the forest, but when it struck him how highly unlikely he was ever to have a use for his nicer shoes, he hastily put thoughts of them in the back of his mind, next to images of Dora and dreams of well-cooked meat. He'd discovered that with the moon so near, it wasn't hard to forget about the latter; he'd gotten used to the barely-cooked lamb Greyback often brought for Remus and the children.

The day of the full moon, Greyback brought Remus into a larger, though more overgrown, clearing. This, he told Remus, was where the men met to transform.

"How do you keep yourselves from getting at the women and children?" Remus asked against his better judgment.

Greyback, to Remus's immense shock, only grinned and drew a wand from his brown robes. "I set up protective spells around each clearing before moonrise. Why so surprised, my little Remus? Didn't think any creature who shuns that wizards' world would have a wand?" Greyback waved the wand idly about. "I might not know as much magic as a _schooled wizard_ -" he spat out the words - "but I can protect my pack." Greyback looked around quickly as a twig snapped; the two other men of the pack had arrived, carrying handfuls of dead rabbits. Greyback welcomed them gruffly into the clearing, but shook his head at the rabbits.

"No need for those, boys," he said. "Tonight, we run."

Remus felt a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach, but the other two men of the pack, led by Greyback, cheered raucously. When they settled down, Greyback took the rabbits back into the forest, presumably, Remus thought, to distribute them to the women and children before he locked them within the protective spells.

The two other men of the pack approached Remus slowly. He crouched defensively, but they shook their heads, and held out their hands placatingly.

"We're not out to hurt you, mate," one said.

"As long as you don't hurt us," the other added. Remus realized with a jolt that the two men looked very similar.

"Are you brothers? He asked them, standing up from his defensive position.

"Twins," one said, and Remus noticed now that this one was a few inches taller than the other. "I'm Mort," the tall one said, then nodded to his brother. "This is Hal."

"We were bit when we were practically babies," Hal explained, scratching his full head of dark brown hair. A few small twigs fell out of it.

"We've been with Greyback ever since," Mort added, and Remus realized with another jolt that the twins were roughly his age. Is this what he would have been like if Greyback had dragged him into the forest all those years ago?

"Anyway," Hal said, "sorry about the -" he mimed punching someone - "you know. But we have no use for making Greyback angry. He does that to all the new recruits."

"Sure," Remus said, though the bruises along his ribs twinged.

"Anyway, we knew – you being like us, and all – that you'd heal up pretty fast either way," Mort said, grinning.

Remus found himself grinning back, then said, "I'll be honest, I wasn't quite expecting the members of Greyback's pack to be quite so -"

"Humanlike?" Mort said, still grinning. Remus nodded. "We do our fair share of growling and hunting when we need to -"

"But we know what it's like in the wizarding world," Hal interrupted. "Houses instead of clearings, and fresh clothes."

"Is it true they make a potion for you to keep your mind while transformed?" Mort asked with sudden, childlike wonder.

"Yes, they do," Remus replied. "And even," he added, thinking of Ted Tonks's magnificent elixir, "something to take away the aches and pains afterward."

Mort and Hal stared at Remus, transfixed.

"Amazing," Hal breathed. Mort nodded his agreement.

"Did you two ever try to get back to the wizarding world?" Remus asked. "See the world up close?" He barely dared to breathe. This could be his chance to sway the pack toward Dumbledore's forces.

"Nah," Mort said casually; Remus tried to hide his vast disappointment. "I reckon we'd die out there without Greyback."

"Yeah," Hal agreed. "It's a nice thought, houses and things, but we could never get used to it. Anyway, Greyback wouldn't have it. He's a bit of a violent sort, but he takes care of us," Hal added. "Greyback always watches over his pack."

As Hal spoke, Greyback emerged from the trees, now empty-handed.

"Get ready," he growled at them. They all undressed, then sat on the soft leaves to wait for the moon...

The wolf was ravenous and could smell prey nearby. Not the poor excuse for prey that animals were, but _real_ prey. The wolf sensed a new pack around it and felt its new status within the pack, and liked it. It played with its packmates until a growl and a tug on its ear brought it to attention. Alpha stalked back and forth in front of them, and with its eyes and a low growling in its throat conveyed the promise of the prey. When it took off running, the others followed, trailing the scent of their next meal...

* * *

Remus woke up early the next morning when a cold gust of wind blew over his naked body. He ached from the stretching his muscles had suffered in the night and felt exhausted, as though he'd run a marathon. Remus sat up suddenly, terrified, as he remembered the chase of the previous night.

"Relax," said a languid voice nearby. "We didn't catch up with them."

Remus jumped and looked over at his packmates; Mort and Hal were clothed again, hunched over a small campfire.

"Who did we not catch?" he asked, trying to hide his panicked breathing.

"The campers," Mort said. "We were following an old scent. They'd been gone for at least a day by the time we got there." Mort paused. "Er...Greyback has tricks for helping us remember what we do transformed, even though we didn't used to. Wait...that _is_ why you're all twitchy, right?"

Remus nodded. His teeth were chattering. "We chased...humans? For...for sport?"

"Well, I'd've preferred chasing them for a meal, but sport was all we got," Hal said, sounding genuinely disappointed.

"There'll be others," Mort said nonchalantly.

"Oh...oh God..." Remus said, and hunched over again, feeling nauseous.

"It's all right, we've got rabbits," Mort said. "Caught them while you were sleeping. It's not like it's the first time our prey's gotten away."

Remus gagged but managed not to vomit. He looked around for his clothes.

"Over there, mate," Hal said, pointing at a flat rock that looked as if it had been dragged into the clearing for the express purpose of clothing storage.

Remus lurched over to the rock and threw his robes over his head. "Where's Greyback?" he rasped.

Mort and Hal looked at each other uncertainly. "Gone," Hal said. "First week after the moon he always goes to report to his leader. Some guy named Vol -"

"I...I have to go," Remus interrupted. "I need to...I need to walk out the pain," he said, knowing neither of the other two men would believe him.

"It's all right if you prefer to get food on your own, we don't mind," Hal said, sounding slightly hurt. "There's no need to lie about it."

"Right...food...sorry." Remus stumbled out of the clearing as Hal and Mort turned their attention to the fire; they didn't spare another thought on the newest member of their pack. As soon as he felt safely out of earshot, Remus Apparated directly to the Burrow and vomited in the Weasleys' garden.


	11. Old Fashioned Man, Modern Woman

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Eleven: Old-Fashioned Man, Modern Woman_

Tonks moved into the Flumes' small cottage the day after the full moon, a couple weeks before the students returned to Hogwarts. She was painfully aware of the full moon's presence and spent most of the night laying awake, wondering what Remus was doing and if he was all right. When she arrived at the cottage in the afternoon, lugging her battered school trunk behind her, Ambrosius and his son were there to greet her.

"Miss Tonks! Welcome to our cottage. It's not much but I think it will suffice for your needs. You know, I'm sure, my son, Matthaius?" Flume said.

Tonks inclined her head at the young man standing next to his father, though she could see no hint of the Matthaius she'd known in school. "Hello," she said. "Thanks for letting me stay here with you."

Matthaius shook his head and grimaced at his father. "Call me Matt," he said. "It was hardly my idea to take on another boarder, though I'm grateful my father thought of it," he said, looking her up and down. Tonks hid her surprise and revulsion as best she could.

"I'll leave you to get settled in, then!" Flume said, clapping his hands together once. "Your bedroom is just down the hall, second on the left. The bathroom is right next to it." Flume cheerfully bade his son and Tonks goodbye, and was gone within seconds.

"He's not one to stand on ceremony," Matthaius said, smirking. "So...what brings a beautiful woman like yourself to humble Hogsmeade?"

Tonks ignored him and floated her trunk into her bedroom. The furniture was sparse – just a bed, a small desk, and a wardrobe – but the place was spotlessly clean. Tonks thought she might have liked it if Matt hadn't been breathing down her neck.

"I said, what brings a -"

"I heard you," she said testily as she landed the trunk next to the wardrobe. "I'm here for work."

"For work?" Matt said, as though such a thing were only for the criminally insane. "Are you going to be a barmaid at the Three Broomsticks? No, I suspect you'd give Madam Rosmerta too much of a run for her money...the Hog's Head?"

Tonks turned to face the man who was quickly becoming a nuisance. "Actually," she said, forcing herself to remain calm. "I'm an Auror."

"An _Auror_, she says," Matt said to the room at large. "Are you one of those feminist types?"

Tonks was taken aback; it had never occurred to her that people like this still existed in the world. She drew her wand and pointed it at Matt, who backed up into the hallway.

"I'll give you feminist," she growled, barely holding her control over her anger.

"All right, all right, relax," Matt said, holding up his hands. "I just wondered, what with the butch title and all -"

"Stop talking before I hex you," Tonks said, and she slammed the door in his face, locking it. She put her wand away, sat down on the bed and scowled as she heard Matt chortling on his way into the front room. She wondered if she could blast a hole in the wall to make her own entrance to the bathroom so she wouldn't have to see him, but imagined that Ambrosius wouldn't be too happy about a lodger destroying his cottage. Tonks took a few deep breaths, then opened her trunk and focused on unpacking.

* * *

She met up with Diana Felix at the Hog's Head for supper. The two women sat at the bar under the watchful eye of Aberforth Dumbledore, who swiped the counter over and over again with his filthy rag while they exchanged pleasantries. Tonks liked Diana immediately; she was an older woman, short and muscular, with long, curly white hair and light brown eyes. She had a long scar down her right arm which she showed proudly, wearing a sleeveless top. Tonks was surprised she wasn't in robes, but then Tonks herself had opted for jeans and a T-shit for the meeting. When Tonks told Diana about Matt, she immediately offered to visit the cottage and turn him into a slug, but Tonks declined the offer.

"Well, keep it in mind," Diana said, winking.

"What's my first assignment?" Tonks asked, eager to get into work. Slimy fellow lodgers aside, Tonks had discovered in the past week that work was the best way to keep her mind off of Remus and the night they'd kissed, though no matter how she put it out of her head in the daytime, it haunted her dreams. At least once per night, she dreamed of kissing Remus in the kitchen of her parents' house.

"You'll be guarding the Hogwarts Express from the halfway point to the Hogsmeade station," Diana said, taking a sip of her drink, which was violently blue and glowing slightly. She hiccuped, excused herself, and continued. "You won't be on the train itself – our job is to keep things as normal as possible for the children, so they don't become alarmed – but flying above it. I suggest you bundle up for that," she added.

Tonks nodded; it was an easy enough job. "Is there anyone in particular I should keep close watch on?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Harry Potter," Diana said. "But that's orders from Dumbledore himself, not from Robards. Dumbledore wants to make sure Harry gets into Hogwarts safely. Robards doesn't need to know about that when you file your report on the assignment," she said, eying Tonks beadily. "And while I might not be in his secret club or what have you, I have no problem following Dumbledore's orders. I suspect you were placed with me because of your own connections to him."

Tonks was impressed by Diana's frank statement and nodded her agreement. "So we're almost doing double duty," she said.

"More or less, though I'd prefer to keep that quiet," Diana said, to which Tonks nodded again. "The other team working here is not so sympathetic to the headmaster."

"Who _are_ the other team members?" Tonks asked between bites of the chicken she'd ordered for supper.

"Dawlish -" Diana rolled her eyes - "and a man named Silvus Agnus. Quite a tough one, he is – been around as long as I have and won't take any nonsense. He's pretty much living in Rufus Scrimgeour's pocket. Or out of it, I should say, since most of his bonus checks don't come from the Ministry."

Tonks raised her eyebrows. "When do we meet them?"

"Luckily, not until next week. Dawlish is already here, but Silvus has a wife and kids, so he's taking a bit longer to get things in order for them." Diana finished her meal and waved Aberforth over for another blue beverage. "But we don't really need to worry about them. We'll be on twelve-hour shifts – a bit rough, I know, but we're at war, after all – with them, so you'll be guarding Hogsmeade every thirty-six hours."

"Where should I report?"

"I've got a room upstairs, just send a message using your Patronus to let me know you're clocking in – handy thing, that, we learned it a few weeks ago from Kingsley Shacklebolt. I think you were still in the hospital."

Tonks hid her amusement at the image of Kingsley pretending he'd come up with the idea; it was harder not to grin at the thought that the Order had initiated a way to communicate that wasn't already in use by Ministry employees.

"You'll report to me once a week – I'll meet you right here at the bar – unless something big happens, then I expect to know right away. I'll keep you in the loop as to what to look for – Dementors, for the most part, right now – and let you know if you need to concentrate on any specific area in town. Dumbledore might call you up to guard the school now and then – I told him he's welcome to it – and he's probably more likely to call one of us than he is to call on Dawlish or Silvus Agnus. Er...you _do_ know how to send a message via Patronus, right?"

Tonks nodded and Diana asked her to demonstrate the ability; she drew her wand and focused on sending a simple message to Diana despite the fact that they were already sitting next to each other. To her shock, something large, four-footed, and distinctively wolf-like erupted from her wand. Several people in the bar shrieked.

"It's just a Patronus!" Tonks told them loudly, trying to ignore the way her heart was ricocheting off her ribcage. She looked at Diana, who looked surprised and – to Tonks's disappointment – disgusted.

"Interesting shape," Diana said as the Patronus vanished into vapor. "I'm glad I got to see that before it galloped into my room upstairs."

"Sorry," Tonks said. "It didn't used to be that – I'm not sure -" Tonks suddenly felt very angry, not at herself or Diana, but at Remus. If he hadn't left, she would still be able to morph, and her Patronus would have its former, less aggressive shape.

"Was that a werewolf?" A very intoxicated man in the corner asked. "What kind of freak has a werewolf for a Patronus?"

Tonks quickly excused herself from the bar and walked back to the cottage, seething. Matt tried to greet her but she ignored him, once again slamming her bedroom door in his face. She sat in the dark and conjured the Patronus again; it stalked about her room and Tonks found herself comforted by it despite its frightening size. When she looked into its eyes and saw Remus, however, she let it dissipate. In the fading light, she saw an envelope sitting on her desk.


	12. Defeat

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Twelve: Defeat_

"Remus, dear God!" Molly Wesley squealed when she saw the filthy, haggard-looking man at her kitchen door. "What's happened? Come in, come in!"

Remus walked shakily to the kitchen table and sat down. Immediately, a steaming cup of tea floated in front of him. He snatched it out of the air and gulped at it, spilling a large portion down his wrists and chin, ignoring the sting as it burned. "I can't stay, Molly, I just need – I need to write a letter."

Molly nodded, but then a mischievous glint arose in her eyes ."Make it two letters and I'll make you breakfast," she said cunningly.

Remus groaned and was about to explain that he wasn't about to write to Tonks in this state when he realized it would be better to agree. He nodded and Molly floated parchment, quill and ink in front of him. Soon the smell of sizzling sausages permeated the kitchen. Remus took several more gulps of his tea before he began his letter to Dumbledore, detailing the number of people in the pack, the fact that Greyback was in possession of a wand, and that he left the first week after each full moon to report to Voldemort. Remus waited to eat breakfast until after he'd written about Hal and Mort's casual attitude toward eating other humans, and the fact that Greyback had helped them chase down campers. By the time the letter was finished, the hot breakfast Molly had placed in front of him was lukewarm. He ate everything on the plate greedily, though he felt slightly ill afterward. He jumped up and was about to leave when Molly put a firm hand on his arm.

"One more letter, Remus," she said sternly. "I don't care how tortured you are, at least tell her that you're alive and all right."

Remus sat down again; he didn't have the strength to resist the iron will of Molly Weasley, especially not this morning. He picked up the quill again and wrote to Tonks:

_Dora,_

_I have discovered a way to return to the human world, at least occasionally, without Greyback's knowledge._

_Please understand that what I am about to say is for your own safety. _

_Dora, you need to give up whatever feelings you have for me. It could get you killed if you are associated with me; Greyback knows you were with me on several occasions. I tried to throw him off the scent but he is cleverer than anyone imagined. You must try to forget about what happened the night I left. You must not think about what I might feel for you. Forget about me, Dora. It's the best way for you to stay safe._

_Remus_

Remus folded the letter before Molly could read it, but to his surprise she made no attempt. When he looked at her curiously, she only said, "It's not my place to know what you say to each other. But I'll be damned if you stop communicating with her when you have a chance to."

Remus lowered his eyes to his bare feet until Molly had turned around to the kitchen sink. He sent the owls on their way and left the Burrow, Apparating out before Molly could convince him to stay any longer.

When he returned to the forest, he caught a squirrel and a rabbit, which he let Mort and Hal cook over their fire in the men's clearing. He lay down in some soft pine needles at the edge of the clearing and went to sleep, plagued by dreams of a Tonks who turned to ash every time he touched her.

* * *

Remus found, in his short time as part of the pack, that it was much easier to just sweep everything about his human life into a corner of his mind. He was disgusted with himself, at first, for how easily he sank into the animal-like life of one of Greyback's pack; far too soon, even that feeling dissolved. The only part of his human life that Remus could not force himself to forget was Tonks. She haunted his dreams, whispering "I am only and always yours" in his ear; he dreamed so vividly that he could feel her warm breath on his skin and woke up feeling angry and frustrated. It wouldn't do for Remus to tell Tonks to forget about him when it was harder every day for him to forget about her. Finally, Remus gave up on forgetting her; instead, he turned her into a symbol of his own hope that he would be able to leave the pack some day. However, every time he saw Greyback, that hope dwindled.

Greyback had placed him back in the clearing with the children after the full moon, saying that he needed to learn how to hunt better if he wanted to run with the adults. Remus bit back a retort that the only running he wanted to do was away from the forest and silently accepted his fate as an old cub. He took pleasure in teaching the children the alphabet; none of them had ever learned to read, and a stick drawn through the dirt made for an excellent faux chalkboard. The day the Hogwarts Express left King's Cross Station, which Remus had managed to forget about, quickly became a day of note for another reason when, while Remus was right in the middle of teaching the children, Greyback walked into the clearing. Remus quickly brushed the letters out of the dirt with his hands, but it was too late; Greyback had seen what he was doing.

"You think you can teach my pups to be humans?" Greyback growled, crouching as though he were about to spring into an attack.

Remus waited until the children had vanished into the woods before he replied. "I was just trying to help them. They wanted to learn to read, to help pass the time between full moons."

It was the wrong thing to say. Greyback swiped at Remus's head but missed; Remus dodged backward until he was at the very edge of the clearing. "No pup of mine needs to find something to do between full moons. There's hunting to do no matter what state of being we're in."

Remus's lip curled before he could stop it, but he remained silent.

"I see that my little Remus has not yet learned his lesson," Greyback said, standing up straight once again. "You are a Dark creature. You do not have the right to teach, to learn; isn't that what they told you out in the wizarding world?"

"Well, yes, but -"

"And yet you do not accept what you are!" Greyback snarled. "Though everyone around you can see it! You are a creature, not a human!" He cuffed Remus on the side of the head; Remus fell over.

"Perhaps we should place you in your own clearing until you learn your lesson. But no, no..." Greyback said, pacing back and forth in front of Remus. "You would build a house or some such nonsense, you would find books to read and you would wash your clothes. Is that what a creature does?"

Fearing another blow to his head, Remus shook his head. "No. That is not what a creature does."

"And what are you?"

Remus scowled at the dirt and remained silent. A sharp object scratched the length of his cheek; Remus realized Greyback had drawn his wand and was pointing it at him.

"What are you?"

Remus remained silent; another scratch, this time across the width of his face, made him cry out in pain.

"Tell me what you are, Remus Lupin."

Remus felt excruciating pain like none he'd ever felt before, and knew without thinking that someone had taught Greyback the Cruciatus Curse. He heard someone screaming but he couldn't worry about it because he was about to die from the pain. Suddenly the pain lifted and Remus realized he was the one screaming. He stopped but curled into the fetal position.

"What are you?" Greyback asked again.

"I am a creature," Remus whimpered, defeated.


	13. Start of Term

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Thirteen: Start of Term_

"Tonks, what are you doing here?" Molly Weasley said when she opened the kitchen door. "It's quite late, everyone else is already in bed. I was just on my - Tonks, are you all right?"

Tonks held up the letter that had been waiting for her when she returned to the Flumes' cottage that night. "Remus wrote to me."

"Quite right, too, I told him he - but why do you look so sad?" Molly ushered Tonks into the kitchen and sat her down at the table. "Do you want anything to eat? Or perhaps just a cup of tea?"

"Tea would be great, Molly, thank you," Tonks said. She had folded and unfolded the letter so many times in the few hours since she'd received it that its creases were well-worn into the parchment.

"What did he say that has you so upset?" Molly asked, sitting across from Tonks and pouring tea for herself and Tonks.

"He said I should forget about him," Tonks said flatly. "He said that it's the only way to keep me safe."

Molly stared at Tonks, then shook her head vehemently. "I insisted he write to you when he was here earlier today. He came in to write to Dumbledore then left right away. Tonks, if I had had any idea what he was going to say to you -"

"It's all right, Molly," Tonks said, cradling her teacup. "He's right."

"Well of course if you want me to - what?"

"Remus is right. Any connection he has to us will put us in danger and might get him killed. He's supposed to have forsaken all that, right? To run with Greyback's pack out there in that damned forest..." Tonks took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Molly, I'm just so angry about all of this..."

"Quite understandably! If I were in your shoes I'd march right up to Dumbledore and demand that he call off this foolish mission. Surely we can take on You-Know-Who without all this tearing apart of families -"

"We were hardly a family, Molly -"

"And forcing missions on people who would be just as useful otherwise!" Molly blushed as she realized how visible her anger was. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm a little angry, too, what with Arthur and Bill working night and day -"

"And then here I come to visit just to complain about my own life," Tonks said. "I'm sorry."

"No dear, it's quite all right," Molly said absently. "I'm just saying that I understand, though Arthur's hardly working undercover. I still worry about him. Especially with that -" she pointed to her special clock, upon which all the Weasley family's names were pointing to "mortal peril" - "keeping me from really knowing where anyone is." She patted Tonks's hand. "But don't you worry. Remus looked tired, but he was fine. He said he would have a chance to come back the week after each full moon."

"He failed to mention that. No, all that's in this letter is just, 'stay away from me Tonks, it's not safe Tonks, don't try to contact me, Tonks,'" Tonks said bitterly. "It's a good thing I'm not sure where he is, because if I knew I would go and cuff him around the head a few times."

"I'm sure it's not easy for him to cut you out of his life," Molly said reassuringly. She opened her mouth to say more, but was cut off by three knocks on the kitchen door. Molly stood up and drew her wand, walking over to the side of the door frame. "Who's there?" she asked. "Declare yourself."

A soft and familiar voice drifted calmly through the doorway. "It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Harry."

Molly opened the door, beaming, though she gently scolded Dumbledore for arriving earlier than expected. Tonks gasped when she saw Dumbledore's blackened, shriveled hand, but Molly was still talking and she didn't want to interrupt to ask about it. While Dumbledore explained why he and Harry were early, Tonks tried to quell the wave of anger that washed over her. It was not Dumbledore's fault that Remus had chosen to go undercover with the werewolves. Still, Tonks threw a glare in Dumbledore's direction, to which he responded by greeting her.

"Ah, hello, Nymphadora!"

"Hello, professor," Tonks said, grinding her teeth as she heard her deplorable first name. The anger tried to rise up again, but she quelled it again; suddenly she was too tired to care about whose fault it was that Remus was not here with her. She looked at the tall, dark-haired boy standing slightly behind Dumbledore. "Wotcher, Harry," she said wearily.

Harry Potter inclined his head at her; he looked as sleepy as she felt. "Hi, Tonks."

Not wishing to explain her brown hair to yet another curious onlooker – and Harry looked curious, though he was unlikely to ask – Tonks stood. "I'd better be off," she said. "Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly."

"Please don't leave on my account," Dumbledore said as though reading her mind. "I cannot stay, I have urgent matters to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour."

_At this hour? _Tonks thought but didn't say. "No, no, I need to get going," she insisted. She avoided looking at Dumbledore, worried her hatred would show in her expression. "'Night -" she began.

"Dear, why not come to dinner at the weekend, Mad-Eye and Remus are coming -"

"No, really, Molly...thanks anyway...Good night, everyone." It was highly unlikely that Remus would show up for dinner while working undercover, but Tonks figured either Remus would come to see Harry or Molly was lying to keep Harry unaware of what was going on. She escaped the kitchen.

* * *

Tonks spent the majority of the morning before she had to trail the Hogwarts Express at the Hog's Head with Diana, Dawlish and Silvus Agnus, an incredibly muscular bald black man who looked quite similar to Kingsley Shacklebolt with the exception of the several long scars running the length of his face (she later discovered that Silvus was Kingsley's cousin). While Dawlish didn't openly insult her, Tonks got the distinct impression that he resented spending time near anyone who had ties to Dumbledore. He hinted strongly that anyone who worked for the Ministry of Magic and was also working for Dumbledore was a hypocrite bordering on a traitor. Tonks was saved from a full-on diatribe when Diana hinted to Dawlish that perhaps the only reason people talked badly about Dumbledore was because they feared him. Dawlish left soon after to begin trailing the Hogwarts Express from King's Cross.

Silvus Agnus, on the other hand, was indifferent to Dumbledore and seemed close to indifferent about the Ministry of Magic. Tonks wondered briefly if Silvus hadn't spent time in Azkaban despite being an Auror; he had the slightly haunted look of a man who had been forced to spend a lot of time alone with his own thoughts. Still, Silvus was happy to regale them with tales of his time as a young Auror; Tonks's favorite story was one in which Agnus, in his first undercover operation, tripped over his own two feet and straight into a nest of vampires, who threatened to kill him until he lied and told them he drank blood for fun. At that point, Silvus said, he became an honored guest until the next morning when he crept out while they were sleeping.

Tonks took her leave for the halfway point in the Hogwarts Express's journey while Silvus and Diana were in the midst of a debate about vampire rights. Diana insisted they could choose to live off only animal blood, while Silvus was adamant that they needed the blood of a human at least once a month to continue a healthy undead existence. Tonks took her broom and Apparated to the halfway point; the train had not yet arrived. She sat on a tall boulder and waited, shivering in the uncertain sunlight. Tonks was glad she'd thought to take a coat.

A few minutes later, the Hogwarts Express came chugging around the corner; Tonks mounted her broom and flew high above it, dipping every now and then into the sunlight above the clouds to get warmed up. This didn't last long, as night quickly fell, leaving Tonks wishing she'd worn two coats instead of just the one. Tonks then followed the train closely, her toes nearly skimming the tops of the cars, until the train rounded a bend and Hogwarts appeared in the distance.

When the train pulled into Hogsmeade Station, Tonks landed and kept a close eye on the debarking students. She saw the flash of Ron Weasley's red hair and the bushy brown curls of Hermione Granger close behind, but was surprised to see that Harry was not with them. Soon all the students had left the train, leaving only a few station employees here and there who were magicking the students' trunks up to the castle. Tonks boarded the train, which was littered with sweet wrappings and forgotten items. She wondered idly who was stuck with the unpleasant job of sweeping up all the detritus.

Tonks paused as she came across a compartment that had the blinds drawn. She opened the door but the compartment was empty; the Hogwarts Express was preparing to leave the station. Where was Harry? Tonks was about to shut the door again and leave the train when she remembered Harry's Invisibility Cloak; she brushed her fingers along the floor and seized cloth. She yanked the cloak from Harry, whose eyes were open but who was unmoving. "Wotcher, Harry," she said.

Tonks undid the Body-Binding Curse and watched as Harry sat up. He wiped blood off his face and she realized his nose was broken. The train started to move.

"We'd better get out of here, quickly," she said. "Come on, we'll jump." After landing, Tonks asked Harry who had left him in such a position; he replied that Draco Malfoy was the culprit. Tonks wondered if Malfoy was working for Voldemort or just an ignorant berk, but then she remembered Harry's broken nose.

"I can fix your nose if you stand still," she said. Harry looked slightly uncertain, but stood quietly and allowed her to do the Healing Spell on his nose. She advised Harry to put the Invisibility Cloak back over his head for the walk to the castle and sent her Patronus to let them know Harry was coming. She explained to Harry what she was doing, and they started on their way to Hogwarts.

"How did you find me?" he asked.

"I noticed you hadn't left the train and I knew you had that cloak. I thought you might be hiding for some reason," she said, glancing at him. "When I saw the blinds were drawn on that compartment I thought I'd check."

"But what are you doing here, anyway?" Harry asked.

_Trying to forget that I can't morph, trying to ignore the fact that Remus is in danger every bloody minute, _she thought. "I'm stationed in Hogsmeade now, to give the school extra protection," she explained. Didn't anyone tell Harry anything about what was going on?

"Is it just you who's stationed up here, or -?" Harry asked.

"No, Proudfoot, Savage -" they'd arrived just a few days ago - "and Dawlish are here too." Tonks thought about explaining Diana Felix and Silvus Agnus to Harry, but didn't think he would care. She'd listed the Aurors he knew.

"Dawlish, that Auror Dumbledore attacked last year?"

_And should have locked in the bathroom with Moaning Myrtle, _Tonks added mentally. Aloud, she said only, "That's right."

When they reached the school, Tonks got some amusement out of Harry trying to unlock the gates with _Alohomora_, but the humor faded quickly. She felt exhausted after her long broom journey and wanted only to get back to the cottage to sleep. She was surprised to see Severus Snape approaching them from the other side of the gates, lantern in hand, looking as sallow as always. She listened as Snape sneered at Harry, clearly savoring the moment, and Harry's attempt to explain.

"There is no need to wait, Nymphadora," Snape said, and Tonks felt a flare of anger at his use of her full first name, "Potter is quite – ah – safe in my hands."

Tonks frowned. "I meant Hagrid to get the message," she said. _Or anyone who isn't a git, _she though viciously.

Snape told her that Hagrid was late for the start-of-term feast, which Tonks thought was odd. Her exhaustion prevented her from asking about Hagrid's absence. She was snapped out of her exhaustion when Snape mentioned her new Patronus.

Tonks stiffened but Snape only slammed the gates in her face.

"I think you were better off with the old one," Snape said, his lip curling. "The new one looks weak."

Tonks ground her teeth together so hard she thought they'd turn to powder in her mouth. When Snape and Harry were halfway up the path, she turned and walked angrily toward the cottage. As she passed a house in Hogsmeade with a small stone wall dividing it from the road, several of the stones cracked and fell out of the wall.

"I wish that was your head," she growled to the absent Snape. She paused to fix the damage, then Apparated the short distance remaining to the Flumes' cottage and went straight to bed.


	14. A Brief Reprieve

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chatper Fourteen: A Brief Reprieve_

Proudfoot and Savage left a week after classes started at Hogwarts, called back to London by Robards to deal with increasing Dementor attacks in the north of the city. Tonks wasn't sad to see them go. Their shared attitude was that Dumbledore was growing senile in his great age and couldn't be trusted. Savage mercilessly berated Tonks for her loss of morphing ability; at the final Aurors' meeting before leaving, he and Proudfoot told her she ought to take a refresher course in stealth and disguise, since now she "had to do it like a normal person." Though the taunts made her angry, Tonks didn't bother to fight them. The feeling of exhausted frustration that had overcome her weeks ago when Dumbledore appeared at the Burrow had stayed with her throughout the rest of the summer.

Only when the next full moon arrived did Tonks find the energy to care about something, but it was only to lay awake the entire night worrying about Remus. Early the next morning, word came from Molly that Remus would be spending two days at the Burrow, because Greyback had left to make his monthly report.

"He's here now, but he doesn't know I'm writing to you. He said you're not to come see him, but I think you should. He looks healthy enough but his eyes are haunted, and I know the only person in the world who could get rid of that look is you," Molly's letter stated. Tonks wrote back only that she had a twelve-hour shift to work and wouldn't be able to see Remus that day. By the time her shift was over, Tonks had decided to see Remus the next day, his last day at the Burrow. Knowing he was safe and somewhere she could find him let her sleep easily that night, but she woke with the sunrise and Apparated to the Burrow as soon as she could expect the household to be awake.

What she did not expect, however, was that Remus would answer the door when she knocked.

"Dora - Tonks," Remus said, looking anywhere but at her. "I told Molly -"

"I'm only here on business," Tonks lied, taking advantage of Remus's lack of eye contact to inspect him. Molly had been correct; he'd lost some weight but looked relatively unharmed, though there were two long scars running down his cheeks. Tonks used sheer force of will to keep herself from touching Remus; she edged cautiously past him into the kitchen and sat down at the table, feeling weak. To her surprise, Remus sat across from her.

"No one else is awake yet, I'm afraid," he said apologetically, as though the Weasley household's oversleeping was his fault. "Your hair," he added, making it not quite a question.

"I can't morph," Tonks replied dully, and discovered Remus had mustered the strength to look her in the eyes. "They say a major upset, loss of -"

"Don't," he said, and reached across to take her hand. "You need that power."

Suddenly angry, Tonks snatched her hand from his, though as soon as she'd done it she regretted it. It had felt good to touch him. "If you hadn't left I would still have it," she hissed.

Remus jumped as though she had slapped him; Tonks briefly wished that she had. "I'm sorry. I couldn't just walk around knowing Voldemort was getting to the werewolves."

Tonks's expression softened, and the anger quickly faded away. "I know," she replied. "But that letter you sent -"

"Was completely right," Remus said, not looking at her. "I shouldn't have written you at all, but I want you safe."

"What about you?" Tonks whispered. "I want you safe but you aren't."

"It's impossible," he said. "Right now, me being safe is impossible."

Tonks looked up at him; Remus looked so tired, and Molly had been right about his eyes; they looked haunted. Tonks reached across the table and held his hand in both of hers.

"Let me tell you what's impossible," she said, beginning to cry angrily. "It's impossible that I could forget about you. It's impossible that I could just put my feelings aside and find someone else. So stop trying to push me away."

Remus raised his eyes and stared at her for a moment that seemed to last a year; before Tonks realized it, Remus had stood and walked to her chair. He held her face in his hands and kissed her softly, tentatively. Tonks wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back, her tears flowing freely for the first time since he'd left. When they broke apart, Tonks told him about the cottage in Hogsmeade.

"Stay there the next time you are free to leave the werewolves," she begged him. "I can get rid of the other lodger."

Remus sat down again, this time in the chair next to her. She kept her arms wrapped resolutely around him, as though that could keep him from leaving again. "There's another lodger with you?" he asked, completely distracted by the news.

"Matthaius Flume," Tonks said with a roll of her eyes. A ghost of a smile appeared on Remus's face; he stroked her lips with his thumb. "A real charmer."

"Is he now?" Remus asked, his smile growing wider.

"I'm in Hogsmeade to guard the town and the school; he thought I was there to be a barmaid," Tonks said sulkily.

To her immense surprise, Remus burst out laughing, which led her in turn to smile.

"Well," he said, positively grinning now, "you would look rather good in a corset." Without waiting for a reply, he kissed her again. When he rested his forehead against hers after they broke apart, she could see the haunted look in his eyes, while still present, was much faded. Remus made them both tea and Tonks filled him in on life in Hogsmeade, though she completely forgot to tell him of her new Patronus. Only Molly coming downstairs to start breakfast half an hour later made them silent; with her, Molly had brought back the real world and the fact that Remus would have to return to the werewolf pack for another month.


	15. An Unlikely Friend

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Fifteen: An Unlikely Friend_

One day the week before October's full moon, Tonks found herself stuck at the Flumes' cottage with nowhere to go. She wasn't scheduled to work until the next day, and the pouring rain outside left her with little desire to leave the comfort of the cottage. Tonks stayed in her bedroom as long as she could, but when she began to feel the four walls were closing in on her, she braced herself to endure more unknowing insults from Matthaius and went into the kitchen. She was surprised to see no sign of Matthaius, but a piece of parchment was waiting for her at the counter, her name in bright green ink at the top of it.

_TONKS _(it read)_,_

_Your presence is requested at the castle this evening at 6 p.m. Dumbledore would like us to guard the school tonight. He said to tell you he enjoys Acid Pops._

_Diana_

Tonks wondered why the note wasn't in an envelope, but she found one in the bin next to the counter. Matthaius had opened her mail.

"Good thing he's hiding," she growled to herself.

At that very unfortunate moment, however, the front door opened to reveal Matthaius in a bright orange rain coat and carrying two bags, one with the Honeydukes label, the other a simple paper sack.

"Honey, I'm home," he called merrily, though he stopped when he saw Tonks glaring at him from over the kitchen counter. "What's wrong? I brought food. Eat some candy, you'll cheer right up," he said carelessly, tossing the bags casually onto the counter.

"You opened my mail, you arse," Tonks growled.

"Oh yeah, about that...it was just very strange that it didn't go directly into your room like the last one, so I thought, well, maybe it's a love letter or something, and then I couldn't resist, because I really wanted to see what kind of man digs the power-chick image -"

One of the large chocolate bars in the bag cracked in two and began smoking.

"All right, all right! Relax!" Matthaius said, backing a few steps away. "It's not like it was an important letter, right?" he said, smiling faintly.

Tonks drew her wand, pointed it at Matthaius, and walked around the counter so they were standing inches apart. She held her wand at his throat.

"I am a trained Auror," she hissed. "If you ever read my mail again, you will find yourself in a very dark place." She backed him up against the wall, feeling a twisted pleasure when he whimpered. In the same moment, however, her anger departed; her shoulders sagged and she put her wand away. "Just don't do it again, all right?" she said, turning away from him.

"S-s-sure," he said, holding still against the wall. "I-I-I b-b-b-rough ch-ch-chicken," he said in the way of pleasing an angry god, and pointed at the paper sack. "And mead."

"Thank you, Matt, that was very thoughtful of you," Tonks said, opening the bag. She didn't feel hungry, but guilt had filled the places her anger had been in moments before, and she thought if she ate something he wouldn't be so afraid of her anymore. As promised, a large stack of chicken legs, wrapped in wax paper, and a bottle of Rosmerta's mulled mead were inside. Tonks grabbed glasses from the cupboard and poured both herself and Matthaius a generous helping. She took plates from the cupboard, too, and arranged the chicken on them, adding some salad from the refrigerator. She slid one of the plates toward Matthaius, who had taken a seat at the bar stool nestled against the counter. She sat next to him.

"A-a-actually," he said," I hoped this could be my sort of going away party."

Tonks looked at him quizzically, unable to speak through the large bite of chicken she'd just taken; now that she could taste the food, she found she was starving.

"I'm leaving for Germany on Saturday," he explained, and Tonks automatically thought, _the day of the full moon_. "I'm going to work for a chocolate factory there. Chocolate's always sort of been my specialty," he continued, growing bolder when he realized Tonks wasn't going to threaten him. "I could always tell what kind people liked best. I'd guess you are a milk chocolate with crispy wafers kind of woman."

Tonks's jaw dropped and she nodded, surprised. _Surprised he knows chocolate or surprised that, despite being an idiot, he's got some dimension? _A voice sounding frighteningly like Remus said in her mind. She ignored it. "Yes, that's my favorite kind. I don't suppose...?" she pointed to the bag.

"Yeah, I got a couple of the big bars of it, I figured you...well, I haven't seen much of you, but you've looked kind of down...and I didn't want to leave thinking I'd left a woman here who disliked me," he said, some of his former swagger returning.

"If you've brought me my favorite chocolate, I love you," she said without thinking.

"Surprisingly I get told that a lot," he replied, finally digging in to his own chicken and salad.

Tonks smiled faintly. "Look...I'm sorry I never -"

"It's okay," he interrupted. "I'm not the most likeable person, I know. You don't like how I act toward women. But it's just women like you...I mean, you're practically a man, with a high-ranking job and all," he said. "It's a bit unnatural."

Tonks felt her irritation at Matthaius return, but in the interest of chocolate, she held her tongue. "You should see me in my real form," she said.

"What, are you like a banshee or something?" he asked.

"No, just a metamorphmagus."

"Oh! You're the one who always had pink hair at school! I remember you now! You and Charlie Weasley got into a lot of trouble for that one time when you stole Snape's trousers and -"

"Yes, that was me," Tonks said, faintly embarrassed. "I don't make a habit of stealing men's clothes anymore, even though I am _practically a man_," she said, slightly bitingly.

"Well, you are!" Matthaius said through a mouthful of chicken. "I mean, you're strong, you stand up for yourself. You should have seen this one blond woman at the bank the other day, she was beautiful but you could tell she couldn't have done anything useful if her life depended on it -"

"That would be Fleur Delacour, and she's actually quite strong," Tonks said, smirking as she thought of what Fleur would say to Matthaius's impression of them both.

"Oh," he said. "Well, you know what I mean," he added, waving one hand around airily. He took a final bite of his chicken and stood up. "I need to go pack," he said, refilling his mead glass and taking it with him to his bedroom. "Thanks for having a final meal with me, I really thought you were a -"

"Don't mention it," Tonks interrupted, before he could enrage her again. She pulled the Honeydukes bag toward her to see what else he'd bought, thinking she needed to control her emotions better if she was going to make it through the year without going completely insane.

Nevertheless, she felt undue warmth toward Matthaius when she saw the Honeydukes bag was filled entirely with the crispy wafer milk chocolate bars she loved.


	16. Healing, Part One

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Sixteen: Healing, Part One_

Tonks did not see Matthaius much in the remaining days before his departure. Though she was no longer actively avoiding him, he was too busy setting his affairs in order, and she was beginning to feel the strain of weeks of twelve-hour shifts. She finally caught up to the day he was scheduled to leave, though she didn't have much time before her noon-to-midnight shift began. In return for the chocolate Matthaius had given her, Tonks paid a visit to Scrivenshaft's and bought him a German to English translation book. The user only needed to speak the phrase in English, and the book (when turned to the proper page) would speak it back in German. Matthaius was grateful and he and Tonks shared mildly amicable conversation over tea before he Disapparated for Germany and she headed to work.

A shift guarding Hogsmeade consisted mainly of pacing up and down the High Street and the connecting alleys. Tonks was permitted two hours in which to rest her feet in the Three Broomsticks or the Hog's Head, remaining alert for suspicious activity. Everyone at the Hog's Head was suspicious, but Tonks saw no one who appeared to be in the employ of Voldemort. Silvus Agnus was most frequently on watch, though not officially on duty, when Tonks entered the tavern. They'd grown to develop a common bond in abusing Savage and Proudfoot for their hideous behavior toward her during their visit. Silvus always offered to buy Tonks a drink, which she always refused on the grounds that she was working.

At around 10 that evening, when her feet were starting to get tired, Tonks was walking down a side alley near the Hog's Head when she felt all the light go out of the area. She shivered in the sudden cold and lifted her wand, which she held drawn at all times in an effort to be ready for anything. Sure enough, she heard the rattling breath of not one, but two Dementors. She tried to summon her Patronus, but images of Remus standing in her parents' lawn and telling her he was leaving to go underground were blooming in her mind. She felt the pain of the moment over again, more biting than when it had actually happened. She thought of Remus's letter, telling her to forget about him – and with it came an image of him kissing her when they'd last met -

"_Expecto Patronum!_" she cried, and the wolf burst from the end of her wand, charging down the Dementors. They floated into the night, taking the dark and the cold with them. The wolf turned to look at her, and as always, within its eyes she saw Remus. It quickly dissipated.

Tonks was shaking a little when she returned to the Hog's Head at the end of her shift. She wrote a note to Diana informing her of the incident, detailing exactly the place and time the Dementors attacked. Silvus, still sitting at the bar, was infuriated.

"You could have called me out, I would have helped," he said in his deep voice.

"I handled it, but next time I'll definitely think of you, though Diana's my partner," she said teasingly.

He stared at her a moment, then laughed and demanded she drink a butterbeer he'd paid for. She accepted, now being off-duty. "You're right, it's Diana you should alert," he said. "It's just when I'm on shift, nothing more exciting happens than a fist fight or that man coming in and trying to sell stolen goods."

"That would be exciting enough for me," Tonks said. "Why didn't you tell us about a man selling stolen goods?"

"Oh, he's harmless enough, and he comes in at the same time every week, and I'm always the one on shift. I didn't think it was worth it. Besides, I highly doubt he's selling things to You-Know-Who." Silvus laughed again and Tonks took her leave, grateful that the butterbeer had cheered her. However, it had also made her immensely tired. Rather than walk to the Flumes' cottage, she Apparated directly into the front room. She realized when she glanced out the window that it had begun to rain, heavy clouds obscuring the full moon.

Tonks was fast asleep when the storm blew in later that night, but as it blew out at dawn, with it came someone pounding at her door. Groaning and wishing for several more hours' sleep, Tonks threw the top blanket of the bed around her shoulders, too tired to find her dressing gown, and opened the door.

In front of her stood Remus, shivering, his clothes sodden from the freezing rain that was still falling in sheets.

"Remus?" Tonks asked, dazed. He looked hollow, like a man whose soul had been sucked out by the very Dementors Tonks had battled the night before. When she realized that he wasn't about to explain what had happened that had him so traumatized, she moved out of the doorway; as though pulled by an invisible string, Remus walked into the front room of the cottage.

"Don't move," Tonks said softly. "I'll be right back." She sprinted to the bathroom and grabbed two enormous towels, then ran into Matthaius room and found a pair of trousers and a T-shirt amidst the detritus at the bottom of the closet. They smelled slightly musty, but they were clean. When she returned to the front room, Remus hadn't moved, but he was still shivering violently. His lips were slightly blue. When Tonks drew nearer, she realized tears were falling down his cheeks.

Tonks ignored how frightened she was to see Remus this way and concentrated solely on helping him. She carefully wrapped the two towels around him, holding him from behind to help him warm up. He hissed in pain when her hands grazed his ribs, but otherwise did not react. Tonks held him until the shivering had subsided somewhat.

"Dora," he whispered so softly that she barely heard him in the quiet cottage.

"I'm here, Remus, I'm right here," she breathed. Tonks handed him the dry clothing and led him to the bathroom. "You can change in here," she said. He walked into the bathroom and, without bothering to close the door, took off his wet shirt, hissing in pain. Tonks's jaw dropped as she saw several fresh cuts and bruises along his ribs, which she could see plainly through his flesh. Remus began to put the fresh T-shirt on, but as soon as he pulled it over the cuts on his chest, he began shaking. He leaned over the toilet and vomited.

"Remus!" Tonks said in alarm. She quickly entered the bathroom and put her hands on his shoulders, holding him steady as he retched again. His skin was cold, clammy.

"S-s-sorry," he muttered as he flushed the toilet. Tonks helped him stand, ignoring his groans of pain as best she could. He reached for the clean trousers and she turned away while he took off the old ones and put the fresh pair on. He groaned in pain as he pulled the trousers up his legs, and Tonks was on the verge of turning to see what had happened when he said "no!" loudly, stopping her. "Just a cut on my leg," he said weakly.

"Let me help," she said, turning around now that he was fully clothed. "I can bandage the wounds."

Remus leaned against the sink while Tonks Conjured bandages and reached past him to get a cleaning solution out of the cupboard. She pulled his shirt up and attended to the wounds on his chest first; he hissed in pain again as she cleaned them, but sighed with relief as she applied the healing ointment with her wand.

"And the one on your leg," she said.

"It's...more on my hip, really," he said, not looking at her.

"Remus, I don't care, let's just get it cleaned up."

Remus pulled the waistband of his trousers over one hip; Tonks gasped at the long, angry red slash she saw there, and the way his hip bone protruded from his skin. She cleaned and applied ointment and a bandage to the wound, and he quickly pulled the waistband back over his hip.

"Are there more?"

"No," he said, still not looking at her.

"Go sit on the couch, I'll make us some tea." She noticed his lips were still slightly blue, and he was still shivering every now and then. She made tea with her wand, and quickly brought it to him on the couch, but he was fast asleep. She woke him up only to help him move into Matthaius's bed. He fell asleep again instantly.

Tonks was on the edge of sleep again herself, half an hour later, when Remus began to scream.


	17. Healing, Part Two

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Seventeen: Healing, Part Two_

Remus was screaming. He was having a nightmare and he couldn't wake up. In it, he was the wolf, but with his own mind; he followed Greyback, Hal and Mort into the forest; he helped them kill the campers, and he feasted with them. As he looked down at the feast, he saw Tonks's face, her eyes staring up at him without seeing, her mouth stretched in a silent plead for mercy from the animals who had none. That was when he began screaming, and then he was awake, and Tonks was holding him, and she was alive, but the real campers were dead, he'd killed them and eaten their insides, and when he was human again he'd vomited and vomited, and Greyback had only laughed and slashed him with his wand, and Hal and Mort hadn't understood what the big deal was, and as soon as Greyback was gone he Apparated straight to the cottage, not thinking of the location but of Tonks, not considering the destination but only her face. Remus felt something wet and hot slide down his face and realized he was sobbing.

Tonks wrapped her arms around him, careful not to touch his wounds, and Remus forced himself to breathe calmly, at the same time promising himself that he would never tell anyone what he'd done. They'd put him in Azkaban, they wouldn't care that he hadn't been in his own mind when he'd killed, he was only a creature, not a person. Creatures didn't have the rights of a human. But here was Tonks, saying soft words to him, holding him just like a human would hold another human, and gradually the nightmare subsided, and the horror at what he'd done became numb, distant pain, and he felt only Tonks's warm arms around him and the warm, dry blankets on the bed. Yet he still couldn't force himself to open his eyes.

"Remus..." Tonks whispered. She edged up onto the bed next to him, keeping her arms around him, careful not to jar his wounds. "It's all right, Remus, it was only a dream."

And then the terror returned, and he shook his head and heard someone saying "no, no, no, no" over and over, and then realized it was himself saying it, but he continued to say it anyway. Tonks slid one hand up to cradle his face, gently running her thumb over his rough, scarred cheek, and still he could not look her in the eyes. Tonks didn't say anything more, and he felt the terror become numb pain again, and the warmth overtook him and he slept. He felt a cool hand smooth over his forehead and he slept without dreaming, only in sweet darkness in which there were no dead campers, no laughing, slashing Greyback, no Hal and Mort who couldn't understand.

Tonks eased Remus's head back onto his pillow and looked at him for a long time. Something had happened; she could imagine what it had been, though she dreaded the moment she would have to ask him. She wrote to Dumbledore that Remus was in her care and that he seemed highly agitated. She wrote to Diana and begged off her next shift. Finally, if only to ease her racing mind, Tonks wrote to her mother, asking her to come out to the cottage and see if she could do anything to help Remus. She only made it halfway through the letter to Andromeda when her head slipped down her arm and she slept at the kitchen table, hunched over, more exhausted now than she'd been at the end of her twelve-hour shift.

She awoke when watery sunlight, shining through the kitchen windows, lit on her face. She was surprised to see that she'd slept for several hours, and that it was now late afternoon. She had just finished the letter to Andromeda and sent it when three knocks sounded on the door and Tonks jumped up, drawing her wand.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"It is Dumbledore," a gentle voice replied. "You sent me a letter early this morning in which you shared great concern for Remus's welfare."

Tonks opened the door and allowed Dumbledore inside. She followed him into Remus's bedroom and was relieved to see that Remus was still sleeping soundly. Dumbledore leaned over Remus and put a hand on his head.

"A fever," he said softly. "Do you know how he came to be wounded?"

"No, but I – I suspect the worst," she said, afraid to look at the headmaster.

"Ah. And he arrived just after sunrise?"

"Yes, shivering and not talking."

"Some tea, I think, Nymphadora," he said quietly, leaving the room. Tonks followed him into the kitchen and made tea, again with her wand. Dumbledore remained standing but Tonks, feeling weak, sat at the counter. Dumbledore carefully sipped his tea, then looked at Tonks. "If what you say is true, I will of course not ask Remus to return to his duty. I can see he has become quite battered, and I assure you that was never my intent in sending him to Greyback."

Tonks felt the old, frustrated rage rise in her, beating against her tired skull. "With all due respect, sir, what did you think would happen to him, sending him into the arms of a killer?"

Dumbledore said nothing, only stared sadly at Tonks. "It seems that with my many decisions to try to gain more allies, I am only gaining more frustrated friends," he said, and Tonks wondered distractedly who else he'd upset. "Have you written anyone else to say he is here?" he asked sharply.

"Only my mum," Tonks said. "I thought...with her household spell skills, she might be able to help him."

"Ah, yes. He can hardly go to St. Mungo's in this condition; no doubt one of Greyback's men would kill him within a day." Dumbledore looked down into his tea, an expression of intense weariness on his face. "I cannot stay, Nymphadora," he said, standing up suddenly. "I have duties at the school. But thank you for informing me of Remus's condition, and please continue to keep me up to date on the situation. I should like to speak to Remus as soon as he is awake and alert." Tonks nodded and Dumbledore Banished his teacup into the sink; he left the cottage and walked to the school. She watched him until her eyelids grew heavy, and headed for her bedroom.

As she passed Remus's door, she looked in on him; he was still sleeping peacefully. Forgetting her own bed, she eased into bed with Remus, wrapping her arms around him again and holding on tightly.


	18. Mostly Human or Mostly Wolf?

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Eighteen: Mostly Human or Mostly Wolf?_

Tonks woke up early the next morning to find Remus watching her sleep...from across the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked him groggily. She didn't like the way he was looking at her.

"You have to stay away from me," he said hoarsely. He'd pulled his knees to his chest and had wrapped his arms around them, defensive, keeping the world at bay. Tonks sat up, hugging the covers to her chest in the suddenly cold room.

"But we talked about this before, in September -" she began.

"No," he interrupted. "I had a moment of weakness. Things have changed since then."

"Then why did you come here?" she asked, wounded.

"More weakness," he said, shaking his head slowly. "I was ill, I wasn't thinking straight -"

"You still aren't," she said angrily, standing up on the other side of the bed from him. "I told you before -"

"And I'm telling you now, things have changed!" Remus said, standing now, too. "You're young – you don't understand what I am -"

"I've dealt with werewolves before, Remus," Tonks said quietly. "You are different from them.

"How?" Remus asked; he raked an agitated hand through his hair. "How am I different, Dora? I hunt, I kill -"

"You live in the human world, Remus, you are a man -"

"I am a _creature_!" Remus shouted, collapsing back into his chair. Tonks stared at him; he put a hand over his eyes. "I am a creature," he said again, much more softly.

"Remus...Tonks said, frowning. "What have they done to you?"

"They've shown me what I truly am," he said, his eyes glinting in the scattered sunlight shining through a gap in the curtains.

Tonks opened her mouth to argue, but shut it again in an instant; Remus would not be moved by logic today. Instead, Tonks turned on her heel and walked away, into the kitchen.

"Tea?" she called stiffly over her shoulder, and when Remus answered with a grateful "yes," she began making it manually, finding comfort in the motion. He stayed the rest of the day, wrote to Dumbledore that he would be returning to the pack, changed into his filthy clothes from before (Tonks was relieved when she made him show his wounds and she saw they were now only angry red scars and bruises), and Disapparated back to the werewolves.

When it grew dark, Tonks did not bother to light candles, but sat in the front room, staring into the twilight as it became night. It was only then that she realized she hadn't heard from Andromeda yet.

* * *

Remus did not return to the werewolves immediately, as he'd told Tonks he was going to do; he'd Apparated instead to the Shrieking Shack. In the fading light, he touched the peeling wallpaper, the ruined furniture. _A house fit for a dog from hell_, he thought wryly. When the moon rose, he returned to the werewolves.

Hal and Mort greeted him with some concern, since he'd been vomiting when they'd last seen him.

"Where you been, mate? We were getting worried," Mort told him as they roasted a suckling pig in the fire.

"Where did you find a pig?" Remus asked, ignoring Mort's question.

"Oh, we had great fun today, went all the way to the edge of the forest. We found a farm!" Hal said jubilantly. "The cubs get their beloved leg of lamb and we get suckling pig!"

"Real royalty out here, we are," Mort said, laughing. Remus grinned and felt his stomach rumble; he remembered the meal of two nights ago, consisting of raw and terrified camper, however, and lost his appetite. The twins eventually convinced him to have a few bites of the meat, and he ate then, realizing he hadn't had much more than tea in his time with Tonks. He put the night of horror in the back of his mind as best he could, but that night he dreamed again of Tonks, her dead face staring unseeing, her mouth wide in a scream only the dead could hear. He did not scream in the dream this time, but awoke drenched in sweat. He stared up at the sky above the clearing until dawn, watching the stars he could see through the thinner tree branches disappear as the sun burned their dim lights away. When the sun had fully risen, he sought out the children and started their reading lessons again.

They were overjoyed to see him, and were eager to learn, though their attention flagged quickly. When this occurred, he switched from lessons to stories about his time at Hogwarts, telling the children as if the events of his youth were fairy tales. He left the children near midday to hunt down rabbits.


	19. Alone, But Not Forgotten

A/N: I apologize for the delay in posting this chapter; I hit a bit of a block. However, all is well now and hopefully you will be pacified by the fact that this chapter is a bit longer than the others I've written. I hope that makes up for the wait I've put you through.

* * *

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Nineteen: Alone, But Not Forgotten_

Just as Tonks was starting to panic about the whereabouts of her parents, she received a message from Dumbledore via Patronus, asking to meet her in the Hog's Head that evening. When she arrived, she found him sitting at a corner booth; his attempt at discretion was sorely thwarted by the fact that his long, white beard glimmered rather brightly in the candlelight. Tonks was surprised that his brother was not sitting with him, but judging by the large number of people at the bar this night, she guessed Aberforth was too busy with other patrons to have time to chat with Dumbledore. Later, when the crowd thinned out, she was too distracted by her conversation with Dumbledore to wonder why Aberforth was wiping the counter with his dirty rag instead of joining his brother for a drink.

"Ah, Nymphadora," Dumbledore said when she sat down across from him. "I have news of your parents."

Tonks gripped the edge of the table with both hands. "Have they been hurt? Is that why they haven't answered my letter?"

"On the contrary, they are very well," Dumbledore said. "However, they are also rather far away."

"What do you mean?" Tonks asked, bewildered, as Aberforth plunked a butterbeer down in front of her.

"I have sent them out of the country," he said quietly. "I am sorry for not having alerted you sooner, but I was rather...distracted...by other matters. Please accept my apologies."

"Out of the country?" Tonks asked, completely stunned. "But why didn't they owl me to let me know?"

"I asked them not to, Nymphadora, for which I must apologize again." Dumbledore looked down into his mug of hot cider, then back up at Tonks. "There were rumors that your parents, being rather closely related by blood to two of Voldemort's followers, were being watched. It is my understanding that, had you visited, they would have fabricated stories about you and Remus that would surely have put him in danger and gotten yourself and your parents killed."

Tonks stared at Dumbledore, stunned. "But the letter I sent them – it mentioned Remus -"

"It was intercepted, happily, by someone on our side, before it could do any damage. You are quite welcome to write to them, Nymphadora, but I would suggest that you tell them of your friendship with Diana Felix or your happy life at the Flumes' cottage." He looked piercingly at her.

"You want me to lie to them," she said softly. Though her friendship with Diana was real enough, life alone at the cottage was far from happy. Tonks spent most of her evenings letting the dark envelope her like a blanket, lost in thoughts of Remus and trying to morph, only to go to bed with her head feeling fit to burst open.

"Not in all things; however, if you could keep any mention of Remus out of your letters, it would keep not only your parents and yourself safe, but it will make Remus's mission easier." Dumbledore looked away from Tonks, and she felt the anger rise up.

"Remus's mission isn't easy," she hissed.

"I am very aware of that, Nymphadora," he said, and suddenly she felt like a student in trouble, sitting in the headmaster's office. "However, imagine how much easier it will be when Greyback is not asking him why he has people in what the werewolves call 'the human world' worrying about him."

Tonks thought of the deep cuts along Remus's ribs when he'd appeared at the cottage and shuddered involuntarily. "I understand," she whispered. She took a few deep breaths, then looked up at Dumbledore. "Thank you for telling me about the situation," she said.

Dumbledore inclined his head, looking weary, and Tonks felt it was her cue to leave. She returned to the cottage and, once again, sat in the dark, looking into the dark, feeling as though she would never truly recognize the sun's warmth again.

* * *

Christmas was fast approaching, but the Hogsmeade Tonks saw during her shifts on guard was a poor reminder of the Hogsmeade of her days at school. Only a few houses had Christmas decorations outside them; Zonko's, being closed, left a dark spot where there should have been a great conglomeration of twinkling lights. Tonks missed the huge joke wreath on the door that spouted insults at customers as they walked into Zonko's; it had always told her she ought to join the circus, at which point she would tweak one of its leaves as she and her friends laughed their way into the shop.

Since the visits to Hogsmeade by Hogwarts students had been halted, few of the shops had bothered to put up their unique Christmas decorations; most had only bothered with a single string of lights or a single wreath. Shoppers were all in their homes by the time twilight arrived, and as a result, the shops closed early. Tonks was forced to Apparate to Diagon Alley to do her own shopping, though she made sure to go in to Honeydukes early to buy chocolate to send to Matthaius and her parents.

Though her parents were safer out of the country, Tonks was sad that she would not be able to spend Christmas with them. It would be the first Christmas she hadn't been with them since her fifth year at Hogwarts, when she had decided to stay at the school over Christmas with Charlie Weasley and a few other friends, because they'd wanted to have free reign over the common room and the castle's secret passageways. Tonks remembered fondly, as she shopped, the night they'd all trooped down into the kitchens to nick some of the leftover holiday feast, only to be stopped by Professor McGonagall in her tartan dressing gown. McGonagall had told them they should be ashamed of themselves for knocking about in the middle of the night, but when they'd returned to their common rooms (Charlie Weasley corroborated this the next day), they'd all found tables laden with leftover feast food.

Tonks did her best to decorate the Flumes' cottage for the holiday; she even managed to recruit Hagrid into bringing a small Christmas tree in from the Forbidden Forest for her. She picked it up at the gate to the school and had a laugh with Diana when the woman, who was on guard that day, rounded a corner and nearly ran into the tree. Together, they floated the tree into the cottage and Diana helped her decorate it with a paper garland, lights, and several Conjured ornaments. Diana returned after her shift have supper with Tonks at the cottage, but when Diana left a second time, Tonks felt her own mood sag once again. As happened so often lately, she ended the evening sitting in the dark; the only difference was this time she had the tree's lights to keep her company.

* * *

Remus was glad to have the company of the Weasleys for the Christmas holiday, but his happiness was marred by Tonks's absence. Molly had told him Tonks had refused her invitation to spend Christmas eve and Christmas at the Burrow, and Remus assumed it was because of their argument in October. He had not heard from nor spoken to Tonks since then, and it was weighing heavily on his conscience. Remus found himself longing to Apparate straight to her parents' house to kiss her senseless; however, the next moment he would find himself glad she hadn't come to the Burrow, so he wouldn't have to fight the urge to kiss her senseless in front of the Weasleys, Fleur and Harry. The argument went back and forth in his mind so often that several times when Arthur, Molly or Bill were speaking to him, they would have to repeatedly say his name to snap him back into the conversation. Every time this happened, Molly would give him a knowing look that made him feel guilty, though the next moment he would be arguing with himself again that it was best Tonks carry on without him in her life.

It was, without a doubt, one of the most miserable Christmases Remus had known since the year he'd been bitten. That year, his parents had bought him far more gifts than he knew, even then, they could afford, and his mother had cried and he had cried, and he remembered asking if she didn't love him anymore. She'd told him she would always love him, no matter what, and then his father was crying too. All the toys in the world wouldn't have made Remus happy that year; all the gifts in the world wouldn't have made the argument in his mind stop this year. So it was that on Christmas Eve, Remus found himself staring into the fire, seeing not the flames but reliving the last time he'd seen Tonks, when she'd helped him heal and he'd pushed her away.

Suddenly, Remus became aware of Harry and Arthur speaking nearby; he heard the words "Snape," "Malfoy," and "Death Eaters" in one sentence, and these effectively brought him back out of his reverie as well as if someone had shouted his name in his ear.

"Has it occurred to you, Harry," said Mr. Weasley, "that Snape was simply pretending -"

"Pretending to offer help,so that he could find out what Malfoy's up to?" said Harry quickly. "Yeah, I thought you'd say that. But how do we know?"

Lupin turned to face Harry and Arthur. "It isn't our business to know," he said. Arthur looked at him gratefully, but Harry seemed unperturbed. "It's Dumbledore's business," Remus continued. "Dumbledore trusts Severus, and that ought to be good enough for all of us."

"But," said Harry, "just say – just say Dumbledore's wrong about Snape -"

"People have said it, many times," Remus replied, thinking how much Harry was like James."It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore's judgment. I do; therefore, I trust Severus."

"But Dumbledore can make mistakes," argued Harry. "He says it himself. And you -" he looked Lupin straight in the eye - "do you honestly like Snape?"

Remus thought of events long passed, of Snape attacking James in the Hogwarts kitchen on his, Remus's, birthday. Then he thought of his year as a teacher at Hogwarts.

"I neither like nor dislike Severus," said Lupin. Harry looked immensely skeptical. "No, Harry, I am speaking the truth," he added. "We shall never be bosom friends, perhaps; after all that happened between James and Sirius and Severus, there is too much bitterness there. But I do not forget that during the year I taught at Hogwarts, Severus made the Wolfsbane Potion for me every month, made it perfectly, so that I did not have to suffer as I usually do at the full moon." _As I have been suffering all bloody year,_ he added mentally.

"But he 'accidentally' let it slip that you're a werewolf, so you had to leave!" Harry said angrily.

Remus was touched by Harry's indignation on his behalf, but shrugged. "The news would have leaked out anyway. We both know he wanted my job, but he could have wreaked much worse damage on me by tampering with the potion. He kept me healthy. I must be grateful."

Harry continued to argue, but Remus, fighting a smile at how much Harry's own feelings toward Snape so mimicked those of Harry's father, argued back calmly. Finally, Harry gave up the argument, though he looked mutinous, and Remus knew the old prejudice would continue no matter what anyone said to Harry about Snape. _Slimy, snivelly Snape_, James's taunting voice echoed in Remus's head from long ago. _Slippery, sloppy Snape, _Sirius's voice replied. Remus was once again jolted out of his memories when he realized Harry was speaking to him. Remus felt unease grow in his stomach as he realized Harry had just asked him what he'd been doing recently.

_Feeling guilty, mostly, _he thought, but instead he told Harry the truth of his mission. To his surprise, Remus found that talking about what he'd been doing, though he was leaving out the most disturbing parts, was somewhat of a relief. Harry didn't have the knowledge of werewolves that others, like Tonks, had; Remus found he could freely discuss his mission with Harry without feeling as if he were confessing to horrible crimes. He explained his relation to Greyback, how his father had offended the monster, and found himself arguing with Harry once again.

"But you are normal!" said Harry fiercely. "You've just got a – a problem -"

Remus burst out laughing, despite Harry's great offense on his behalf. "Sometimes you remind me a lot of James," he said. _By which I mean, almost all the time, _he thought. "He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit." _Or that I had a rather inappropriate growth of hair in a rather inappropriate place, _he thought, and fought down another laugh.

Harry was now asking him about a half-blood prince, which left Remus completely bewildered. Apparently it was someone's nickname, and Harry wanted it to be James's. Remus felt slightly guilty as he watched Harry's excited anticipation fade away when he, Remus, had to tell him that James had never called himself a prince.

At that point, Fleur decided to imitate Celestina Warbeck, who Molly had forced them to listen to earlier, singing "A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love," which left Molly scowling and sent everyone to bed as quickly as though they'd been put under the Imperius Curse. Remus lay awake for a long time, but when he finally slept, he saw neither Tonks's dead face nor dreamed of her as he often did lately, very much alive and very much naked. Instead, he dreamed of his time at Hogwarts; he was running amok with a James who frequently turned into Harry, and Sirius kept telling him to kiss the girl, already, dammit.


	20. An Unsuccessful Mission

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Twenty: An Unsuccessful Mission_

Remus added Hal and Mort to the group of children to whom he told stories of his time at Hogwarts. In the few months he'd known them, the men had grown more and more interested in life outside Greyback's world, though they remained completely certain that Greyback would kill them if they ever tried to leave his pack. Often, they would ask Remus questions about life in the wizarding world long into the night; once they were nearly caught when Greyback walked in upon them unexpectedly. To Remus's great surprise, Hal and Mort smoothed over the potentially harmful situation and soothed Greyback back into complacency with little effort.

Although Remus continued to have nightmares of October's full moon and the consequent fight, January and February passed by nearly pleasantly. He taught the children (who had now begun to learn whole words, having proven themselves quick learners) nearly every day, so eager were they to learn to read. He skipped an overnight visit to the Burrow in February, having only stopped in long enough to assure Molly and Arthur that he was still healthy and to send a quick note confirming the same to Dumbledore. And, Remus thought, the best part of winter was that, though the nights in the forest were cold, there were no nearby campers, whether on the full moon or any other time of the month.

It was one week before March's full moon, when the sky was beginning to show blue once in a while, that Greyback caught Remus teaching the children once again. He did not strike Remus, but glared at him until the children had left the clearing. Then he began to growl.

"I thought you had learned," he snarled, as Remus stayed crouched in the snow, expecting a blow (perhaps fatal) to fall upon him.

"I've learned. But these children...they should have a chance to decide," Remus said quietly, not looking up at Greyback, acknowledging the pack leader.

Greyback pulled Remus up by his shirt collar, ripping it slightly. "You argue well, little Lupin, but you argue like a human," he said disgustedly. "And you're wrong. The children don't get to decide their fate. I have already decided for them."

"And what of what they need or want from their own lives?" Remus asked, genuinely curious to learn Greyback's philosophy.

"They are my army, little Lupin," Greyback said. "When they are old enough, I shall teach them to fight – to hunt humans – to kill -"

"But was that your decision?" Remus asked. "Or was it someone else's?"

Greyback paused, and Remus knew he had struck a blow of his own. "I owe the Dark Lord my life," he growled, tightening his grip on Remus's collar, making it hard for Remus to breathe. "The more weapons I can provide him with, the more I will be in his favor." Greyback let go and began to walk away, but Remus couldn't resist asking more questions.

"And when he's got no more use for you?" Remus asked. "When the children are grown and creating further werewolves? When one of them surpasses you in strength or intelligence?"

Greyback turned and pinned Remus against a tree before he could move to defend himself. "Get out of my pack," he said, low and dangerous. "GET OUT!" he said, roaring with rage. "You'll never be one of us. Get out before I change my mind and decide to kill you instead." He let go of Remus, who stood watching him for a moment. Greyback drew his wand and pointed it at Remus's throat. "Your ideas are not welcome here," he continued.

"Because you know they're correct?" Remus asked quietly.

Greyback jabbed the wand into Remus's throat, causing him to cough, but he did not use magic. "If I ever see you here again, I will kill you, do you understand? If I ever see you speaking to one of my men, I will kill you. Little Lupin, you could have been my best fighter. But I see now you are too weak to be the best at anything. Get out of my sight," Greyback said as he turned and walked into the dark woods. For the last time, Remus did as his pack leader told him to, and Apparated into the Shrieking Shack.

* * *

He did not have his wand and did not want to enter the Burrow, so Remus waited until night fell before he used the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow to get onto the Hogwarts grounds. He asked a very depressed-looking Hagrid to send a message to Dumbledore, letting him know Remus was there. Hagrid obliged while Fang attempted to wrestle with Remus while simultaneously soaking his filthy clothes in drool. Minutes later, Dumbledore was knocking at Hagrid's door.

"Remus! What on earth brings you to Hogwarts this evening?" Dumbledore said politely as he stepped into the hut, closing the door swiftly behind him.

"I'm afraid I have bad news," Remus said, sitting at Hagrid's table. Hagrid busied himself making tea and thumped a plate of rock cakes onto the table; neither Remus nor Dumbledore, who'd sat down next to him, touched them. "I failed in my mission." Remus tried to hide the light feeling of relief that had swept over him shortly after he'd arrived at the Shrieking Shack; he was free. The unmistakeable look of disappointment in Dumbledore's eyes brought on more guilt than if the headmaster had scowled or shouted.

"I'm very sorry to hear that, Remus, though I daresay few others will be," Dumbledore said. "Please tell me exactly what happened."

Remus explained the argument with Greyback; Dumbledore looked shocked that Greyback hadn't chosen to strike Remus or use magic against him, but as Remus continued telling what questions he'd asked, Dumbledore looked slightly triumphant.

"He'll be wonderin' now, he will," Hagrid chimed in. "He'll be thinkin' that his whole life's been a lie, maybe."

"Unfortunately, Hagrid, though Greyback has proven to be far more intelligent than we first expected, I doubt his loyalty to Voldemort will change so quickly. However..." Dumbledore looked sharply at Remus. "Did anyone overhear this argument?"

"I'm not sure," Remus replied, frowning. "It's possible the children were only far enough into the woods that Greyback or I wouldn't see them, but they still would have been within hearing distance."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "And were there any others with the children?"

"No, but...Hal and Mort had been hanging around to hear me tell the children about Hogwarts. They were really interested in the human world," Remus said, not daring to hope that his final argument had perhaps made a difference.

"Ah, then I shall not give up hope," Dumbledore said. "You have done well, Remus. Go home and enjoy being human once again. Or perhaps you would like to visit a particular cottage in Hogsmeade -"

"No," Remus said quickly, "not...no. Not...not like this." Remus looked down at his filthy clothing and felt the ripped collar of his shirt grow suddenly heavy against his neck.

"I daresay she won't mind what state you're in," Dumbledore said sagely. "Hagrid, thank you once again for the use of your home, but I must return to the castle," he added, standing up.

"O' course, sir, any time yer in need of it," Hagrid said, also standing. Remus left with Dumbledore, who walked with him as far as the Whomping Willow.

"Goodnight, Remus; I trust you'll rest easy. You've done well," Dumbledore said kindly, and continued up toward the castle. The guilt Remus had felt as he explained what had happened faded away, replaced once again by a feeling of lightness.

"I _am_ a human," Remus said to himself, over and over, all the way down the tunnel and into the Shrieking Shack. He Apparated to the Burrow, surprising Fleur, who was the only one there.

"But zee uzzers have gone to 'Ogwarts!" she said. "Ron was poisoned and they've been visiting him."

Remus, stunned, got a full explanation of the events from Fleur. She said that Ron had been poisoned on his birthday but was near recovery, as Harry had saved him by forcing a bezoar down his throat.

"Someone's trying to poison Professor Slughorn?" Remus asked.

"No! Zat mead, it was intended for Dumbledore as a present from Slug'orn. I think someone should be watching him," Fleur said seriously. "Of course, 'Arry is convinced zat zee Malfoy boy is behind it all, which I cannot make sense of."

"I see," Remus said, smiling slightly. He was not at all surprised that Harry hadn't listened to a word of what he'd said at Christmas and was still suspicious of Draco Malfoy.

"But what are you doing 'ere?" Fleur said suddenly. "Aren't you supposed to be on a mission for Dumbledore?"

Remus looked down at his filthy clothes. "I've come to clean up," he said. "My mission was...not successful." Fleur clucked sympathetically, but Remus couldn't help smiling as he said it. _I am a human_, he thought once again.


	21. The Color Returns

A/n: This chapter has **mature content**, so if you would prefer not to read the details, don't read past the line break.

* * *

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Twenty-One: The Color Returns_

Remus made it to the next afternoon before his need to see Tonks was too great to ignore. He'd endured numerous scowls from Molly and had argued with her over visiting Tonks, using the excuse that they hadn't spoken in more than five months. Molly replied only that Tonks still couldn't morph and that she was no longer visiting the Burrow for supper on a regular basis. Fred and George told Remus that after the kiss Fred had seen at Tonks's coming home party last summer, Remus was a fool not to want more. Remus argued that it wasn't a matter of what he wanted, but the twins ignored him, preferring to continue teasing him about being too noble for his own good. When Remus Apparated to the Flumes' cottage and knocked on the door, it was more to escape the Weasleys' combined efforts (Bill didn't say anything, but shook his head sadly whenever he looked at Remus) to get him to return to Tonks. At least, that was the excuse he used to justify his visit; the way his heart was knocking against his ribs belied the real reason he'd come to see her.

When she opened the door, Remus fully expected her to take one look at him and slam the door in his face immediately. Instead, her jaw dropped and she blinked several times, as though she was dreaming. Seeing her, Remus felt the same surreal dizziness; but this couldn't be a dream – she was never this fully clothed in his dreams. Remus fought a blush and smiled weakly.

"Hello, Dora," He croaked, afraid to break the silence, afraid it would end in her slamming the front door in his face.

"Remus," she breathed. Before he could move, she was wrapping her arms around him and kissing him; he tasted tears. When they broke apart, she pulled him into the cottage and shut the door behind him. "Remus, _five months_."

"I know, Dora, I'm so sorry. I was so scared," he said, pulling her into an embrace. "I was scared Greyback would do something to you. But now -"

"Now?" She looked up at him. "Did something happen?"

"He...he sort of expelled me from the pack," Remus said. "He said he'd kill me if I returned to the forest."

Tonks's lips, which Remus found himself staring at longingly, broke into a wide smile. "So...does that mean..."

"I'm done, Dora, I'm back. I failed," he said, smiling. "Dumbledore was disappointed," he added, his smile faltering slightly, "but I may have made some difference..." And he told her everything, from teaching the children to read to telling Hal and Mort stories of his time at Hogwarts, to the final argument he'd had with Greyback. By the time he finished, they were sitting together on the couch, Remus's arm around Tonks's shoulders, Tonks leaning heavily against Remus.

"You've got them thinking," she said, trying to move even closer to Remus.

"Yes," he said, kissing the top of her head. "I don't expect it to truly change any of them, though; it's all they know, that life of hunting and living like animals."

"They're not, though," she said. "They're humans, just like you."

In lieu of an answer, Remus placed his finger under Tonks's chin, pulling her head up to his. He kissed her.

* * *

Tonks wrapped her arms around him and moved to straddle his lap, her kisses growing more passionate. He ran his hands through her hair, which was miraculously soft, and groaned into her mouth as she moved her hips against him.

"Dora..." he said.

"Please, Remus, I need you," she said between kisses. She inhaled sharply as his hands trailed down her back.

"I need you too," he breathed in her ear, and all the feelings he'd suppressed, the dreams about her he'd tried so hard to ignore, flooded his mind and his body responded. She stood and held out her hand; he took it and she led him into her bedroom. He turned so her back was to the door, and he reached around her to close it before he pushed her up against it, kissing her roughly. His hands moved over her sides and up to her breasts; he felt her nipples grow hard under his thumbs as he caressed them.

Tonks moaned and tried to push him with her body toward the bed; Remus took a few steps backward with her and his hands moved to the bottom of her jumper. When they separated so he could pull it off and toss it into a corner of the room, their eyes locked and Remus savored the way Tonks's eyes had grown even darker than their usual deep brown. Her lips were swollen; he held her face in one hand and ran his thumb over her mouth as she unbuttoned his shirt.

"Your wounds are healed," she said breathlessly as the shirt slipped off and her hands ran over his chest.

"For a while now," he breathed, and leaned in to kiss her again as her hands continued to undo his trousers. Simultaneously, he undid her jeans, pushing them and her panties down in one motion. She stepped out of them, taking them both closer to the bed, and Remus stepped out of his trousers. They drew close again, but skin on skin was not close enough.

Remus turned and eased Tonks back onto the bed, leaning over her to kiss her throat, then trailing his mouth lower. She gasped when he sucked lightly on her breast, and he smiled against her skin.

"Remus, please..." she moaned, curling her fingers into his hair. He pushed her back further onto the bed and moved back up to kiss her on the lips, simultaneously sliding into her. She moaned against his mouth as he pulled away and began to move. She trailed her fingernails up and down his back as they found their rhythm. Tonks leaned her head back against the pillows and Remus breathed more and more harshly against her throat, resting his head in the crook of her shoulder. Tonks dug her nails into his back as she climaxed, calling his name. Remus came seconds later, digging his own hands into the tangled sheets.

He fell heavily against her, planting light kisses along her neck, panting. Her grip on his back relaxed and she smoothed her hands over the place her nails had been, soothing the marks she'd left.

"God, I love you," he said to her neck. To his surprise, Tonks giggled breathlessly. "What?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"He finally admits it," she said, laughing now. Remus lifted his head to look down at her, and smiled.

"Your hair," he said. She looked curiously at him, and he gently pulled a lock forward so she could see the bright, bubble-gum pink shade.

"But I wasn't even trying," she said, bemused. "I wasn't even thinking about it."

"Perhaps that was the trick," he said, kissing her soundly.

When they pulled apart, she rolled her eyes at him. "It was you," she said, running her fingers through his hair. "You know it was because of you."

He nodded, and kissed her again.


	22. Very Much Missed

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Twenty-two: Very Much Missed_

When Tonks awakened late the next morning, she automatically steeled herself for yet another day of unhappiness. It only took a moment, however, before she realized Remus was sleeping next to her, holding her tightly in his arms. She smiled and stretched, then squinted and concentrated on morphing. Her hair, already pink, shortened until it was in the signature spikes that she'd come to love in the past couple years. Tonks giggled, giddy, and snuggled back as close as she could against Remus's chest. He mumbled incoherently in his sleep and loosened his grip on her slightly, and she ran her hand lightly up and down his arm, studying the scars that nearly covered its surface.

Watery sunlight was filtering through the curtains, giving the bedroom a faint glow. Tonks stared idly at the pattern the light made on the floor, following its path over to the desk. An owl was staring back at her, an envelope attached to its leg.

"You could have woken me up," she told it as she moved to sit up; she had to push rather heavily on Remus's arm to get him to let go of her, but finally he did, still fast asleep, and Tonks left the bed. She put on the heavy dressing gown that was hung over the desk chair and took the envelope from the owl, who flew up the fireplace at once. She opened the letter. It was from Andromeda.

_Dora,_

_I have never been so excited to send an owl again instead of one of those pestilential tropical birds. They squawked so loud I was sure they'd surprise your father one day and give him a heart attack._

_Anyway, love, we're back in the country, we've got the OK from Dumbledore and everything. He seems very sure that Remus and Greyback had some kind of argument but that our house will not be watched any longer – of course, this only means that instead of being in immense danger, we are now only in "mortal peril," as Molly's fantastic clock knows so well. _

_I would very much like to see you at supper tonight. Molly says Remus is no longer staying at the Burrow as of yesterday afternoon, and so I can only assume that he is now staying in that cottage with you. Do bring him along if you can make it. _

_Andromeda_

Tonks rolled her eyes at her mother's frankness but quickly checked her mental record of her Hogsmeade guard shifts. She was not scheduled to work until midnight, so dinner with her parents would be possible. Tonks smiled as she folded the parchment and looked back at Remus, whom, she was startled to discover, was now watching her.

"Good news?" he asked hoarsely.

"My parents have returned home, and they want us over for supper," Tonks said, her eyes glinting mischievously.

Remus smirked. "This isn't going to end with your father making vague threats about what he can do with his wand if I hurt you, is it?"

Tonks laughed; Remus grinned. "No," she said, easing back onto the bed. "If he does, I'll assure him that I'm a fully trained Auror and therefore completely capable of threatening you myself."

Remus sat up and reached for her. She crawled across the bed to him and he held her closely for a moment, then kissed her.

"I missed you very much," she said quietly when they broke apart.

Remus toyed with the belt holding her dressing gown together. "I'm so sorry," he replied. "I...I don't know how else to say it."

"I think you've done well enough without words in the past day," she said slyly, reaching down to undo the dressing gown herself. Remus hesitated, then slid the garment off her shoulders and kissed her again, first on the lips, then on her neck. She sighed happily and wrapped her arms around him; he continued to pepper her neck and shoulder with kisses.

"How much time have we got before supper?" He breathed in her ear.

"Oh, quite a bit," she said airily, pushing him back onto the bed.

* * *

Tonks nudged Remus as they entered the kitchen at her parents' house.

"Remember our agreement," he said warningly.

She grinned wickedly but kissed him chastely on the cheek, following their pact that they would not be overtly affectionate toward each other while in her parents' presence.

"Ah, here you are!" Ted said, entering from the living room. "Great evening for a get-together, isn't it? And dry, thank God, it rained nearly every day in -"

"Now, Ted, our whereabouts are to remain secret, remember?" Andromeda said gently, entering the room from upstairs. "Dora, you look very well."

Tonks bit back a laugh and nodded at her mother. "It seems I've solved my problem," she said, winking. Remus nudged her again.

"As we all knew you would..." Andromeda said wryly, choosing to ignore the very mischievous look her daughter was giving Remus at that moment. Andromeda waited until the two were finished making eyes at each other before she moved in to hug Tonks. "It's good to see you again," she said. "Especially with all your colors intact."

"Thanks, Mum," Tonks said as they separated. "You look well, too, and is that a bit of a tan I detect?"

Ted chuckled, but Andromeda looked stern. "You'll not get a word out of me about where we stayed," she said. "It's to be kept secret in case we need to leave again."

"Though your mother hated the birds they use for mail there," Ted said teasingly. "She was nearly sobbing with relief when she sent you an owl this morning, not having to deal with an enormous tropical creature."

Andromeda shrugged nonchalantly at her husband's teasing, then settled into work at the stove. "Dinner's nearly ready, I just need someone to set the table...?" she said hopefully.

"I'll do it," Tonks volunteered, stepping over to the silverware drawer and nearly tripping over a chair on the way.

"Yes, very good," Ted said, catching his daughter in a hug before he wandered back into the living room. "Remus and I will just be in here." Remus followed Ted into the living room, thinking of Tonks's coming home party the summer before. He remembered how the elixir hadn't calmed him at all after he'd kissed Tonks in the kitchen. Her lips had been so warm...Remus quickly thought about the ways to best care for a bowtruckle to keep his mind from wandering into a list of the various other warm parts of Tonks. Remus suddenly thought supper with Tonks's parents could prove to be a very long event, indeed.

"Sit, Remus, tell me how you've been," Ted said. "Dumbledore tells us you've only just got back from your mission."

Remus sat in one of the armchairs adjacent to Ted, settling comfortably back into the cushions. "I just returned two days ago," he explained. "I can't say I succeeded in gathering many werewolves for Dumbledore's side."

"Pity," Ted said absently. "Still, it's good to have you back where you belong, in the human world. I'm sure you're much happier here."

Remus couldn't tell if he was hearing a veiled threat in Ted's voice or not, so he settled for a weak smile. "I did miss a good cup of tea. Among other things," he said, looking down at his clean clothing.

"Dora is quite pleased to have you back as well," Ted continued, and Remus wondered if Ted was purposely trying to make him uncomfortable. Remus put images of just how pleased Tonks had been earlier in the day at the back of his mind and focused on the conversation as though he were back at Hogwarts facing a difficult Potions essay.

"Yes," he said simply.

Ted eyed him beadily for a few moments, but Remus was saved by a call from the kitchen – supper was ready. He stood up quickly, and when he looked back at Ted, Ted was smiling again. Remus led the way into the kitchen, feeling very much a part of the human world.


	23. Shattered

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Twenty-Three: Shattered_

The next few weeks passed in a haze; Remus stayed at the cottage with Tonks, whose hair remained pink, drawing comments from Diana Felix to which Tonks replied with only a wink. Tonks and Remus entered into a routine; Tonks would work her guard shifts and Remus frequently Apparated to St. Mungo's to assist with newly bitten werewolves. He could not give them any help in an official capacity, but he discovered they had comfort in having an experienced werewolf listen to their worries. More than half of them had been bitten by Greyback at the last full moon, which Remus had spent in the Shrieking Shack. If anyone in Hogsmeade thought it odd that the shack suddenly seemed fraught with ghostly activity once again, they did not say so.

The happy, cozy space that the Flumes' cottage had become with Remus and Tonks living in it seemed to Remus unreal. As he continued his work at St. Mungo's, he had increasing nightmares of his time with Greyback's pack. Often he awoke shouting and drenched in sweat, and Tonks would hold him and whisper soothingly to him until he was able to calm himself.

In the middle of June, a letter arrived at the cottage for Remus. Tonks was on guard at Hogwarts and Remus, who'd risen late, was having breakfast before he planned to Apparate through the rainy day to St. Mungo's. The letter made him forget breakfast and St. Mungo's; it made the cottage walls around him, which he'd been so sure had been safe, seem to close in.

_My Little Remus,_

_I see you were, as with so many other things, lying about your connection to the pink-haired woman. I hear you spend your nights with her doing a great deal of things besides sleeping._

_If you continue telling my new werewolves that they ought to try to fit into the wizarding world as well as they can, you will find your pink-haired woman's head affixed to the front door of that fine little cottage you've built your love nest in._

_By the way, Hal and Mort are quite disappointed that you gave up on them so easily. I told them you chose to abandon your equals because you thought yourself better than them, having been through school. Of course they are quite upset with you for your deception. The children were harder to persuade, but now that I've added to their ranks, I believe they'll forget you soon enough. _

_Aren't we all lucky you're such a coward?_

The letter wasn't signed, but Remus knew upon reading it that it was from Greyback. He dropped it onto the table, where it caught fire on a candle. Remus watched it burn, transfixed; the fire had nearly spread to the tablecloth before he drew his wand with a shaking hand to put it out.

When Tonks arrived home that evening, she found Remus sitting in the dark. The scene forced her to remember the hours she'd spent at the window in the very same chair Remus now occupied.

"Remus?" She asked quietly. She moved to light the sconces, and was shocked to see Remus looking drawn and pale. He looked as he had the day he'd come to the cottage after having eaten human flesh. There was a line between his eyebrows that Tonks longed to smooth away. She looked around the cottage; all seemed to be in place. "Remus, what happened?" she asked, sitting down on the floor next to his chair.

He turned slowly from the window to look down at her, and when his eyes met hers she was chilled to see the haunted look had returned to them. "I got a letter today," he said in a strange, forced voice. His hands clenched into fists around the arms of the chair.

Tonks put her hand over one of his, caressing it lightly with her fingers. "A letter?" She felt uneasy; who could write something to Remus that would leave him in such a state? And then she knew. "Was it -"

"Greyback, yes," Remus spat, clenching his fists even tighter. "He threatened me. He told me to stop helping the new werewolves at St. Mungo's or he would kill you."

"I can handle him," Tonks said. It was the wrong response; Remus turned his palm upward and grasped her hand tightly in his.

"No. No one can. He's too strong, too clever -"

"Remus, it's all right. He's just trying to scare you. Dumbledore -"

"I already failed Dumbledore once, I'm not going to tell him I'm frightened by another werewolf," Remus said harshly, gripping Tonks's hand still harder. "I'm not a coward."

"I _know _that, Remus. Remus, look at me," Tonks said pleadingly, and when he did, she repeated herself: "I _know_ you're not a coward."

Remus released Tonks's hand and stood up suddenly. He paced back and forth, then stopped in front of the window, staring at his reflection.

"He said he drew more children into the pack," Remus said, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Tonks stood up next to him and put her arms around him. "We'll help them," she said. "We'll win this war and we'll help them. We've got the Order, we've got Dumbledore, we've got Harry." She rested her head against his arm and looked at their reflection.

"Look at you, Dora," he said, nodding toward the reversed image of themselves. "You're so young, and so beautiful. And look at me. I'm so scarred, so...so _old_..." Remus walked away from her. "So dangerous," he added.

"No, Remus. Please don't start that line again," Tonks said. "We've been so happy here..."

"Have we?" he turned and looked at her. "Have you been happy, making all the money while your pitiful werewolf lover mopes about the house all day?"

Tonks shook her head. "You've hardly been moping -"

"Have you been happy having to put up with the aches and pains of an old man when you would rather be out with your young, complete friends, drinking and laughing at the Three Broomsticks?" Remus began pacing again.

"Remus," Tonks said warningly, feeling anger rise up.

"What can I give you, Dora? All I have is myself. I have no money, I can't get a job because of that _Umbridge_, I'm incapacitated at least three days out of the month -"

"Remus Lupin, stop it. Right now." Tonks was shaking with fury. "I am not going to put up with you going about like this again. You're being a coward if you don't admit that you can make me happy, and you're being a coward if you won't admit to yourself that you deserve that same happiness. Let me know when you decide to be brave and admit that you are a good man, no matter how much you might like to deny it!" Tonks stormed from the room; Remus heard the bedroom door slam shut. He put out the sconces and sat in the armchair again, but couldn't settle; unsure of where else to go, not wanting to be in Tonks's way, he Apparated to the Shrieking Shack. Near dawn, he fell asleep in a huddle of old blankets, long after the rain storm had blown itself out.


	24. The Dark Mark

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Twenty-Four: The Dark Mark_

Tonks woke up the next morning with mousy brown hair. She stared at her disheveled, pajama-clad reflection in the mirror for a long time, but did not cry. Instead of sadness, she felt rage well up inside her. It escaped in the manner of several well-chosen curse words, which Tonks directed not only at her reflection, but also toward Remus.

"His initials should stand for Really Lacking," she muttered as she dressed. "Really Lacking in all manner of things." Tonks slammed her bedroom door shut when she left for the kitchen; the last of the anger dissipated, replaced with an uneasy feeling in her stomach. "And mine should stand for Dumb Troll, as in, I'm a Dumb Troll who keeps loving him anyway. Wanker." She made tea without magic, but the motion of the chore was starting to lose its soothing effect, having been used so often in the past year. She was slightly cheered as she drank it staring out the window and saw a small group of birds playing about the landscaping in the bright, summer sunlight. The twittering creatures allowed her to let go of the uneasy feeling, as long as she didn't look around the cottage too closely for signs of Remus.

Despite her efforts, as she wandered aimlessly through the living room and kitchen, she found her eyes drawn to the proof that he had been living there for the past few weeks: a shabby coat lain over one of the bar stools; a book, with a page carefully marked, on the floor by the couch; a wine glass from the day before, washed, rinsed and sitting on the draining board. The more Tonks tried not to notice these things, the more they stood out to her as she passed by them, and yet she could not bring herself to touch them, to move them out of sight. They were proof that Remus had managed to be happy for a short while, happy with Tonks.

After a few more rounds of the living room and kitchen, Tonks left the cottage and walked into Hogsmeade. She could hear the shouts of the children at Hogwarts, echoing down from the Quidditch Pitch as they played, or from the trees by the lake. She wondered briefly what Harry was doing, and hoped he was happy and that he wasn't stuck indoors studying. From what Remus had told her of Harry, however, Tonks doubted he would be studying unless he absolutely needed to. She walked into the Hog's Head and greeted Aberforth absently; he slammed a mug of iced pumpkin juice down in front of her and returned to his surly cleaning of the butterbeer mugs. Diana entered the tavern a few moments later, and she settled next to Tonks.

"I've just got off my shift," she said as Aberforth grunted and poured her a drink. "What happened to your hair?" Tonks groaned and Diana nodded knowingly. "I'll just pretend I didn't ask."

"That would be wonderful," Tonks said, smiling weakly. "I haven't spoken to you for a while beyond the weekly report. What have you been doing?"

"Apparating into London to report to Robards, mostly," Diana said. "And to have some fun." She lowered her town and leaned in conspiratorially. "It's hard to find somewhere to go out around here," she said, looking suspiciously at Aberforth, who grunted and continued wiping the mugs.

Tonks, to her surprise, laughed. "It works for the children, I suppose, but yes, it's relatively hopeless for us, isn't it?" She and Diana shared a sympathetic grin.

"I'd ask you along if you didn't have to work at Hogwarts tonight. That's what I wanted to tell you, really – Dumbledore's asked us all to be on guard up at the school tonight. I think he believes something's going to happen." Diana sipped more of her drink and grew serious. "You're to report to the Shrieking Shack at 9 p.m."

"The Shrieking Shack?" Tonks asked, spinning her mug of pumpkin juice slowly in her hands.

Diana nodded. "There will be some others there, Dumbledore's people, as well. He's called everyone in to help. I'll be guarding the front gates with Silvus and Dawlish," she leaned in again to whisper to Tonks. "Some of us will be in the Shrieking Shack, and some will be waiting throughout the castle."

Tonks nodded curtly. "I'll be there," she said. Diana drained her drink and headed upstairs, leaving Tonks in the near-empty, dusty tavern.

Tonks took a long nap in the afternoon to make up for the sleep she hadn't gotten the night before, when she'd been too busy alternating between rage and devastation at Remus's desertion of the life they'd begun to find together. She awoke in the evening and dressed in jeans under her robes; the night might be warm, but she wanted to be able to run, and run quickly. Feeling restless, Tonks left the cottage early, choosing to walk rather than Apparate to the Shrieking Shack. When she arrived, Remus opened the door for her. Through magic, the lights she hadn't seen glowing in the downstairs windows from outside sprang to life as she crossed the threshold. Tonks then realized she and Remus were the only two there.

"I guess I'm too early," she said to Remus, who'd withdrawn to the other side of what would have been, in a normal house, the kitchen.

"It's all right," he said, equally softly, not looking at her. "The others will arrive soon."

They stood in awkward silence. Several times, Tonks opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it; though she felt like a pot of hot water about to boil over, she knew it was best to hold off on another argument. They could be interrupted at any moment by the other guards.

"Dumbledore's idea to meet here?" she asked absently, looking around the broken-down house.

"Yes," Remus said. He scratched at a scar on his arm. "It's the only way to get onto the castle grounds without having to open the gates."

Curious now, Tonks stepped closer to Remus. "Does he think that whatever is going to happen tonight will originate here?" she asked.

Remus, still staring down at his shabby shoes, shrugged. "I'm not sure. He was more concerned with getting us to the castle quickly, I think, than possible entry points for the...for whoever might come tonight."

Tonks nodded and looked around the room. The cupboard doors were mostly hanging from their hinges, if they were still intact at all. What once had been a kitchen table was a splintered heap in the corner; Tonks saw the seats of several chairs that had probably been placed around it. A few minutes later, someone knocked on the door. Bill and Fleur had arrived.

"'Ello, Tonks, Ray-moos," Fleur said brightly, stepping over the threshold. "Oh! Zat is a wonderful spell. To light the lights only after ze guest has entered ze room...but what 'ave you two been doing 'ere in ze dark, mmm?" Fleur said, grinning wickedly.

"The lights were already on for them, darling," Bill said sheepishly, following Fleur into the wrecked kitchen and closing the door behind him.

"This is all of us for this part of the grounds," Remus said quietly.

"Only four? But what if more Death Eaters zan we can 'andle come 'ere?" Fleur said, clasping Bill's hand in feigned worry.

"My guess," Remus said wryly, eying Fleur's grip on Bill's hand (Tonks hid a smile at Remus's amusement) "is that Dumbledore already knows they won't come in this way. If it _is_ Death Eaters."

"So we are just to sit 'ere and wait around until somezing 'appens?" Fleur scoffed. "If I 'ad known that, I would have brought somezing to do."

"Luckily for us all, I've brought cards," Bill said, withdrawing a pack of Exploding Snap cards from the pocket of his robes.

"Excellent," Tonks said heartily, knowing the conversation wouldn't exactly be enough to carry them through their watch. After a couple hours, however, even Bill had grown tired of the game, and was just breaching the subject of possibly picking up some of Ogden's Firewhisky from the Hog's Head when a Patronus floated in through the broken window.

"Death Eaters at Hogwarts," Professor McGonagall's cat Patronus said in a monotone. "Near the Astronomy Tower. Come immediately."

Remus jumped to his feet; Fleur clutched Bill and drew her wand simultaneously; Tonks drew her wand and sprinted toward the tunnel, the others close at her heels. None of them noticed the eerie green light that had begun to glow through the Shrieking Shack's windows, so when they emerged from beneath the Whomping Willow, they froze for a moment, staring up at the sky above the Astronomy Tower.

Someone had lit the Dark Mark over Hogwarts.


	25. Battle

**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Twenty-Five: Battle_

Tonks, Remus, Bill and Fleur sprinted into the castle; the front doors were not locked tonight. They stopped short at the sight of the entrance hall; the space was completely deserted. Even though it was nearing midnight, the fact that no students were sneaking to the kitchen or off to empty classrooms was more than enough proof that something was wrong. Fleur gave a little shriek when something crashed several floors above.

"Let's go!" Bill said, leading the way up the stairs. They were rounding a corner on the seventh floor when Tonks ran into something tall, thin and ginger-haired.

"It's you!" Bill and Ron Weasley said simultaneously, pointing at each other. "What're you doing here?" they continued.

"We're on watch for Harry," Ron said, indicating himself, Ginny, and a slightly chubby blond boy whose name Tonks could not recall.

"We're on for Dumbledore," Bill replied, speaking quickly. "What's going on?"

"Malfoy – Draco Malfoy – he's let Death Eaters into the castle somehow, through the Room of Requirement," Ron said.

"The Dark Mark -" Bill began.

"Bloody hell, someone cast the Dark Mark?" Ron paled considerably underneath his freckles.

"Ron, tell us what happened, now!" Bill barked at his brother.

"Right. We were outside the Room of Requirement when Malfoy and – the others – came into the corridor, and suddenly it got all dark, we couldn't see a thing, but we could hear them all running -"

"Where were they running?" Bill said quickly.

Ron thought a moment, then said, "It sounded like they were heading toward the Astronomy Tower. Odd, isn't it, why would they want -"

"That's where the Mark is," Remus said swiftly. "Let's go!"

The group of seven ran toward the Astronomy Tower and caught up with the Death Eaters at the base of the steps to the tower. A few of them tried to run, but Bill, Fleur and Tonks rounded them up quickly, keeping the fighting localized. Remus was nearly hit by a Killing Curse when a Death Eater came running down the Astronomy Tower stairs, but narrowly missed it when Tonks shouted, drawing his attention to the flashing green light. Within seconds, it seemed, the castle was in uproar; Severus Snape ran past up to the tower with a small group of Death Eaters; Remus caught sight of the end of an extremely dirty mane of hair, and knew at once that Greyback was in the castle. He hoped the children were in their dormitories and safe, but thoughts of Greyback were wiped from his mind as he sent a jinx toward a Death Eater who had just tried to kill Tonks.

What seemed like moments later, Severus ran past the group again, this time with Draco Malfoy; the fighting continued in earnest but Snape disappeared down the corridor, and suddenly Greyback was sending a hex his way – Remus met it with another jinx, and without warning Harry appeared, and Greyback was on Harry, Greyback was trying to kill James's son - Before Remus could send a spell at Greyback, Harry had already Petrified the werewolf; Remus watched Harry shove Greyback off of him and run into the fray.

As quickly as the brawl had begun, it ended; Death Eaters were running pell-mell down the corridor and out of the castle. Breathing harshly, Remus leaned against a wall and looked around wildly for Tonks. He found her, but Bill was missing – Remus looked down and saw Bill on the floor a few feet away.

"What -" he began, falling to his knees next to Bill. He felt for a pulse; Bill was apparently only unconscious.

"Bill!" In a whirlwind of blond hair, Fleur appeared next to her fiance and shooed Remus away, carefully cradling Bill's head in her lap. She looked down at his face and gasped. "Mon dieu! 'Is face!" She sobbed.

"Oh – oh, my God," Remus said, staring at Bill's ravaged face. "Greyback -"

Fleur looked up, her eyes blazing with her Veela heritage. "Where is 'e, zis Greyback? I shall kill 'im!"

"He's gone," Ginny said from the middle of the corridor, where she was sitting. "He ran out with the rest of the Death Eaters."

"Where's Harry?" Remus asked her.

"Oh!" Ginny stood up suddenly, drew her wand, and took off running down the corridor.

"Let's get Bill to the hospital wing," Lupin said. He looked around at the other children – Ron looked all right, but Neville was lying on the floor. Remus checked him; the boy was alive, merely unconscious. A long-haired girl with wide eyes stared around calmly, and Remus recognized her as Luna Lovegood, a Ravenclaw. Hermione looked shaken and had a few scratches on her arms, but was otherwise unharmed. "Perhaps we should all go wait there."

"Precisely what I was about to say, Lupin," a terse voice said from the end of the corridor. Professor McGonagall, her usually tightly-wound bun looking rather straggly, walked briskly toward them. "Everyone to the hospital wing, whether you are hurt or not," she said. "I trust you can get Bill and Mr. Longbottom to Madam Pomfrey yourselves?" she asked Tonks, Fleur, and Remus. "I shall meet you there once the children are all safely back in their dormitories."

"Yes, of course," Tonks said quietly. Professor McGonagall gave a curt nod, then turned on her heel and walked away swiftly.

"Dora, you can help me levitate these two to the hospital wing," Remus said, indicating Bill and Neville. "Fleur, perhaps you should let Bill's family know he's been injured -"

Though she had tears in her eyes, Fleur nodded and allowed Remus to float Bill's body away from her. She sent a Patronus speeding out into the warm night air. "I will wait for zem at ze front doors," she said, casting a last look at Bill's face before she ran lightly down the corridor after Professor McGonagall.

Tonks and Lupin, with the children in tow, levitated the unconscious pair to the hospital wing, where Madam Pomfrey settled them safely into beds and began administering various potions paired with stern clucking noises. The adults conjured chairs for the children and themselves. They settled between Bill's and Neville's beds and waited, in silence, to wait for Professor McGonagall's return.


	26. Fear and Love

A/n: This is the final chapter. To those of you who read and reviewed, thank you; to those of you who only read, thank you too. I look forward to returning with a companion Remus/Tonks fan fic for _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_!

You should note that a great deal of this chapter is taken from Chapter 29 of _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_, a chapter titled "The Phoenix Lament." Everything that I've taken from that chapter belongs to J.K. Rowling, as do all characters, environs, spells, etc. in this entire fan fic. As I said at the beginning, I am just playing in the world she so brilliantly created.

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**Beneath a New Moon**

_Chapter Twenty-Six: Fear and Love_

Minutes passed by excruciatingly slowly; Remus stood up and looked out the window, restless.

"Hagrid's house is on fire!" he said, surprised. "Should we go – oh, no, someone's helping him put it out," Remus said, squinting down toward the tiny hut. He paced to the other end of the hospital wing, then back to Bill's bed.

"Do sit down, Remus, you're putting us even more on edge," Tonks said shakily. Remus smiled weakly, shook his head, then sat down, only to stand up again a few minutes later when Harry, led by Ginny Weasley, entered the hospital wing.

Before Harry was completely obscured in Hermione's embrace, Remus noticed the boy looked drawn, pale, and badly shaken. He stepped forward, uncertain of what to do; perhaps Harry would just want to be left alone.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"I'm fine," Harry said, and Remus knew instantly that Harry was far from it. "How's Bill?"

No one answered, and Harry got around Hermione to peer at Bill. Madam Pomfrey was dabbing the wounds with healing ointment.

"Can't you fix them with a charm or something?" He asked her.

"No charm will work on these," Madam Pomfrey said, and Remus realized how little Harry knew about the magic of werewolves. "I've tried everything I know, but there is no cure for werewolf bites."

_Here it comes, time to ask the expert, _Remus thought dully, and sure enough, a moment later Ron asked him if Bill would be a true werewolf. Except Ron couldn't quite say what he needed to ask. _Dora could learn from that fear, _he thought wearily.

"No," he answered Ron, "I don't think that Bill will be a true werewolf," he said, "but that does not mean that there won't be some contamination. Those are cursed wounds. They are unlikely ever to heal fully, and –" Remus hesitated - "and Bill might have some wolfish characteristics from now on." _Like dining on human flesh, _he thought, suddenly exhausted with everything; the impending war, his own condition, his utter fear that Tonks would die if he loved her too much.

Remus was pulled violently from his own thoughts when he heard Ginny tell her brother Dumbledore was dead.

"No!" he exclaimed, staggering backward from Harry, Ginny, Hermione and Ron. He looked wildly between Ginny and Harry – surely this was some kind of mistake – but Harry did not contradict her. Remus fell into his chair and felt a burning behind his eyes; he covered them with his hand.

A cool, soothing hand smoothed over his cheek and came to rest in the crook of his arm.

"How did he die?" Tonks whispered, her grasp on Remus strong despite her shaking voice. "How did it happen?"

Remus listened, still fighting back tears, as Harry explained what he'd seen. Dumbledore, the man who'd built an entire house just to keep Remus's fellow classmates safe from him; Dumbledore, who'd given him a teaching position three years ago despite knowing the potential danger; Dumbledore, who'd helped him after James and Lily died and after Sirius was put in Azkaban. Surely Dumbledore was meant to live eternally, continuing to help others as he'd helped Remus time and time again. Remus simply could not imagine Dumbledore dead, and did not want to; without Dumbledore, who was left to stand in Voldemort's way this time?

Remus slowly began to feel calmer. At first he attributed it to Tonks's hand on his arm, but then Ginny whispered, "Shh! Listen!" and he heard phoenix song. The room, perhaps the whole castle, stood in silence as Fawkes lamented the loss of his master. Remus breathed deeply and sat up.

Professor McGonagall entered the hospital wing and began asking Harry what had happened. Remus felt a twinge of pity for Harry, who would surely be forced to retell his story over and over again. Professor McGonagall looked stricken when Harry told her what had happened.

"We all wondered..." she said faintly, now sitting in a chair Madam Pomfrey had conjured. "...but he trusted...always..._Snape..._I can't believe it..."

"Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens," Lupin said, his voice sounding harsh and grating. "We always knew that." He cleared his throat.

"But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!" whispered Tonks. "I always thought Dumbledore must know something about Snape that we didn't..."

Tonks and Professor McGonagall wondered aloud at what Dumbledore might have known that caused him to trust Snape. Suddenly Harry spoke up, and Remus turned his head sharply to look at the boy.

"Snape passed Voldemort the information that made Voldemort hunt down my mum and dad. Then Snape told Dumbledore he hadn't realized what he was doing, he was really sorry he'd done it, sorry that they were dead."

Lupin shook his head. It couldn't be possible. "And Dumbledore believed that?" he asked. "Dumbledore believed Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape _hated _James..." A fleeting image, of Lily walking to Hogsmeade with Snape while James, twenty feet behind them with his friends, raged that Lily had chosen to go into town with Snape rather than him... Lupin shook his head again, clearing the thought away, dismissing it.

Remus became aware that Professor McGonagall was blaming herself for Dumbledore's death and Snape's betrayal.

"This isn't your fault, Minerva," he said firmly. "We all wanted more help, we were glad to think Snape was on his way..."

"So when he arrived at the fight, he joined in on the Death Eaters' side?" asked Harry angrily.

Professor McGonagall explained the confusion of the fight; Remus could barely remember much more than dodging spells as fast as he was sending them out from his wand.

Remus listened as the other children explained what had gone on to Harry; he felt a jolt of pride that he'd had the opportunity to teach these children, who were all so loyal to his friend's son.

The explanations continued for quite some time; the children sharing their sides of the experience with each other, helping each other to be strong. Remus put a hand over Tonks's and chimed in with observations when it seemed no one else knew what had gone on.

While Fawkes's song was still echoing across the Hogwarts grounds, Fleur returned with Molly and Arthur, and Remus and Tonks stood from their places near Bill's bed so Bill's parents could be near him. Molly fretted over her son and Arthur stood by quietly, then the explanation began again, this time greatly shortened to give the Weasleys the most basic facts and the only one that really mattered: Dumbledore was dead. Remus noticed Molly watching Fleur carefully, as though she expected the younger woman to run out of the hospital wing. Molly said something to Fleur, and Fleur reacted passionately, stating that she would love Bill regardless of what new characteristics he might have, and of what his ravaged face would heal to look like. Remus became acutely aware of Tonks standing next to him.

"You see!" she hissed, and Remus glanced at Tonks to discover she was glaring at him. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"

Remus, now acutely aware of how many other people were in the hospital wing, spoke as quietly as possible, though he and Tonks were now the center of attention. He fought down a blush. "It's different," he told Tonks. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely -"

"But I don't care either, I don't care!" said Tonks. She grabbed the front of Remus's robes and shook them angrily; he could see tears on her cheeks. "I've told you a million times..."

Remus stared at the floor, knowing if their gazes met, he would give in. He wanted to give in, despite the fact that a battle had just taken place, despite the fact that Dumbledore was dead... No. _It's best for her this way, _he told himself sternly. "And I've told _you _a million times," he said, "that I am too old for you, too poor..." Remus thought of the dreams he'd had in which Tonks lay dead. "Too dangerous..."

"I've said all along you're taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus," Molly said suddenly, still embracing Fleur.

Remus swallowed hard and took a steadying breath. "I am not being ridiculous. Tonks deserves somebody young and whole." _Someone whose joints don't hurt three fourths of the month, _he added in his mind.

"But she wants you," Arthur said. Remus looked over to see the man smiling tightly. "And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so." He gestured toward Bill.

"This is...not the moment to discuss it," Lupin said, swiftly losing his resolve. He thought of the weeks he'd spent at the cottage with Tonks. They'd been some of the happiest he'd had in years...Remus tried to jolt himself back to reality. "Dumbledore is dead..."

"Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world," Professor McGonagall said curtly. Remus suddenly felt as though he were being assigned to love Tonks instead of making a choice.

Hagrid entered the hospital wing, cutting off further discussion. Lupin felt dazed, as though he'd just awakened from a dream. He watched as several of the people in the hospital wing left, but still he could not look at Tonks. Instead, he watched Fleur dab ointment onto Bill's face, and saw not sadness or fear in her eyes, but something much warmer. He'd seen the same look in Tonks's eyes at her home-from-the-hospital party and when he'd told her he was returning to the wizarding world for good.

"Dora, I...I need to speak with you," he said quietly, so as not to disturb Molly, Arthur, and Fleur. Tonks was still noticeably upset, but she followed Remus into the deserted corridor. He took her hands in his and, though he was terrified, forced himself to meet her gaze. "I was wrong."

"What?" Tonks whispered, blinking rapidly.

"Regardless of what danger I put you in, Dora, with my condition, and regardless of how selfish it might be of me to put my own happiness above your safety -"

But Tonks was smiling slightly now. "Just say it, Remus." She squeeze his hands gently.

"I need you," he whispered. "to be with me every day."

Tonks broke into a full smile and wrapped her arms around Remus, holding him tightly. He bit his lip and ignored the voice that told him to get away from her. Instead, he chose to listen to the voice of Sirius, which, though it had been ignored, was still piping up rather often in Remus's mind.

_It's about bloody time, _Sirius said.


End file.
